When a new daddy leaves the hospital with his cherub in arm, what does he hope for? Probably someone to tell him how to deal with the A, B and Cs of parenting. But what he really needs is a manual on how to deal with his wife. The new mummy. A.k.a, the “new wife”. Keeping that in mind, I’ve come up with a list of things things men need to know after their beloved wives turns into mothers.
Men, this one’s for you.
#1 She feels ugly
Your wife has put on a ton of weight, her belly was stretched to the limit (causing stretch marks)- she’s upset about it all.
What can you do? Always find time to praise her. Tell her she’s as beautiful as the child she’s created with you. And assure her that her body will go back to how it was, in time.
#2 She is terrified
This parenting thing is all so new to her. She feels like she’s being put to the test. She’s also evaluating herself. People are throwing opinions at her, and this can be overwhelming.
Be by her side always, cheer her on, help her out and remind her that you guys are a team. Tell her she’s the best mother you could have picked for your kid.
#3 She cannot get angry with the baby
She’s aware that the reason for her lack of sleep, her stress, her mood swings, is her baby. But he’s just a baby, and she knows it.
So be a punching bag- don’t worry, this phase shall also pass.
#4 She is not interested in sex
Not for a while at least. Come on, she just pushed a cannonball out of her vajayjay! Of course, making out may interest her.
Caress her, hug her, kiss her, but give her time to be ready to make love again.
#5 She would like you to thank her more frequently
For having this child, and for looking after him 24/7. For putting her life on hold, and attending to every cry, moan, diaper change, feed… okay, you know the drill.
Tell her how much you appreciate everything she is doing for your new addition into the family. A simple gesture like saying ‘Without you, I wouldn’t be able to do this’, or ‘Thank you for being a part of our lives’ will get you far.
#6 She needs you to ask her if she needs anything
Just to make her feel like you care, and want to be involved in this change as much as she has to be.
Say ‘Honey, what would you like me to do?’ or ‘Do you need anything? I am here to help.’
#7 She loves the father of her child
Yes, you! Remember that she loves seeing you as a dad, and having that front row seat.
She loves to hear you say how much this little addition to your life is exciting you. Every time you connect with your newborn, you are connecting to her.
And this is priceless!
What are the other things men need to know after their wives become new mums? Let us know below!
Featured image: Photo by Aditya Romansa on Unsplash