Understanding Things Kids Say: 4 Key Phrases You Shouldn't Overlook

Learn how to decode the hidden messages in things kids say and foster stronger parent-child connections.

Ah, the unpredictable world of parenting, where every day brings a new adventure filled with laughter, tears, and, of course, the unexpected things kids say. As a parent, you’ve likely found yourself scratching your head in bewilderment or stifling a giggle at the sheer randomness of your child’s remarks. But amidst the amusing anecdotes lie important messages that should never be ignored. Let’s dive into four key phrases kids might utter and why they deserve your full attention when it comes to understanding the things kids say.

Decoding Kids’ Communication: What They Say Matters

Kids have a knack for dropping bombshells when you least expect it. From identity revelations to expressions of distress, their words offer valuable insights into their inner world. Here are four phrases that should ring alarm bells for parents:

1. Statements About Their Identity

I want to talk to you.

I have something important to share.

Do you have time to …

Would you love me no matter what?

I think I might be ____ (gay, bi, pan, trans, nonbinary, etc.)

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Ever been caught off guard by your child’s declaration, “I have something important to share”? Dr. Michelle Forcier, a clinician at Folx Health, highlights the significance of such statements, especially when they hint at issues of identity, like “I think I might be…” or “Would you love me no matter what?” These moments call for attentive listening and unconditional support.

2. Expressions of Distress

I hate myself.

I hate my body.

I’m dumb.

I’m lonely.

I don’t want to go to school.

I’m scared.

I’m worried.

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“I hate myself” or “I’m lonely” – words that pierce a parent’s heart. Chinwé Williams, a licensed professional counsellor, urges parents to probe deeper when their child expresses feelings of self-doubt or isolation. These phrases could indicate underlying issues that require compassionate intervention.

3. Signs of Self-Harm

I want to die.

I just don’t want to be here.

I have no reason to live.

I wish I’d never been born.

Everyone would be better off without me.

I wonder how many people would come to my funeral?

As unsettling as it may be, phrases like “I want to die” or “Everyone would be better off without me” demand immediate attention. Elisabeth Kane emphasises the importance of creating a safe space for dialogue and seeking professional help if needed.

4. Clues About Relationships

Kids may drop hints about secretive or inappropriate relationships, leaving parents feeling uneasy. Kane advises approaching these disclosures with sensitivity and offering support without judgment.

Beyond Words: Recognising Non-Verbal Cues

Sometimes, actions speak louder than words, especially when it comes to children expressing their emotions. Look out for physical symptoms like stomachaches or behavioural changes such as clinginess, which could signal underlying distress. By staying attuned to these cues, parents can provide timely support and reassurance to their children.

Responsive Parenting: Navigating the Conversation

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When faced with alarming statements or behaviours, it’s essential to respond calmly and empathetically. Engage your child in open-ended conversations, validate their feelings, and express gratitude for their trust. Plan next steps, whether it’s seeking professional help or scheduling follow-up discussions, to ensure ongoing support and guidance.

In the quirky and often perplexing world of parenting, the things kids say serve as valuable windows into their thoughts and feelings. By listening attentively and responding with compassion, parents can nurture strong, trusting relationships with their children and navigate challenges together with love and understanding.

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Written by

Matt Doctor

parenting