I sit in this 325 square metres hotel room, 9,444 miles away from Singapore (which is my home) in this quaint little town called West Hartford in the States and wonder every morning why this trip is turning out to be so special.
Okay, let me set some context.
The trigger to take on this trip were work opportunities (that could have been very easily dismissed as no one was forcing me to go) propelled by a surprise visit to my favourite nephew who recently started his university life here.
Image source: Anu Gupta
Planning a trip these days as we continue to battle the pandemic across the globe, demands more mental strength than physical.
There are enough reasons that can hold you back- leaving the kids behind for two weeks, risking myself over a long-haul flight, to trust the local safety management measures, find ways to navigate to stay safe and most importantly to just be able to rise and go with the flow.
I must say as I planned the trip, every day the mind would face a myriad of thoughts. But the urge to be with your loved ones and the ability to look ahead at work was all I focused on.
I remember mentioning the work opportunity casually to my husband a few weeks back and his only reply was ‘go’. He is probably the most cautious guy I have met, but the green signal from him seemed like was the only sign off I needed.
I spend hours daily by this roadside café and it truly feels like the break of a lifetime. Pre-pandemic every work trip of mine was my way to unwind.
They would be short and quick ones but I would find my minutes of solitude and moments to recharge. This was probably the adrenaline rush that kept me going. Truly life had come to a standstill.
Image source: Anu Gupta
The last almost two years during this pandemic have led to stress, anxiety, constant fear, lack of confidence, moments of grief and constant worry.
As an entrepreneur I always wondered, will I lose my work, will I be able to retain my team, to support clients/colleagues who passed some of their anxieties our way, facing any crisis head on that came unannounced, supporting colleagues with personal and health issues.
On the personal front it required to stay positive (only in the mind) at home, learn to live without family and their support and the inability to see them as often as we used to. The list is long and endless. The void was too deep.
As I flew over the skies far away from home, there was a sense of happiness and relief. Can I be happy again? Can I not worry always? Are we behind this crisis? Can recharge like the past? I didn’t know the answers.
My work requires me to be creative. For this creativity to be alive, I must innovate and to innovate one needs inspiration. All these factors play hand in hand. The mind must be fresh, one must be able to take breaks, see the world from a fresh perspective and all these experiences can impact our well-being.
As I reflect on the last 20 months, today I emerge stronger, more patient, resilient and most importantly positive. I still recollect a call I had with a dear friend who helped me come out of a dark space during a short period in 2019.
He was able to show me the path- to accept things that are beyond my control, to always look for what I have versus what I could lose out on, to be kind on myself.
My week-long break in this little town has been all about appreciating every joy in my life- my family, my colleagues, my friends, our health and the ability to never give up. Someone had once told me ‘No problem is a problem’. Truly I have put that to practice now.
I am not the perfect mother, daughter, wife or boss. I don’t plan play dates anymore, I am okay for the home menu to be messed up, I forget to order the groceries, I miss replying to work emails but not a day goes now when I don’t joke or laugh with my colleagues or the kids.
I may forget to pay the fees for the kids’ classes, but never miss an opportunity for a late-night ice cream date with them, however tired I am. I don’t shy to share my failures and bad days with the kids, to prove a point that I don’t have it all either.
Image source: Anu Gupta
During this break of mine, I set a routine for myself. As a business owner I don’t have the pleasure to take long breaks (well I never had it pre-pandemic either), so I thrive on short breaks. They can be a few hours in a day to a few days in a week.
My days are shorter here, as I diligently nap the afternoons, so I can stay awake late into the night (to manage Singapore time zones) and work alongside my team, catch up with the kids before they head to school.
The walk along the river every morning that leads me to hidden trails, the freedom to breathe and feel free, start my day at the coffee shop at the corner of the street who’s owner knows my order perfectly, stroll around the neighbourhood bookstore, take an impromptu weekend trip with my nephew.
Image source: Anu Gupta
Of course, it’s a welcome relief when you don’t hear the kids cribbing, the husband complaining and the dog no longer responding to you on calls. I am surely doing something right as a mum, blessed the kids recognise the space I need and not feel guilty about it.
I smiled as I put down my call with them yesterday and overheard the husband screaming, “You have been sacked as the Home Minister,” a post I have gladly resigned to.
As I bid adieu to my darling nephew to continue my work trip, I leave a piece of my heart behind in ‘HartFord’, a place that gave me back more than I expected.
This article is written by Anu Gupta, who is a communications professional and mum of two girls (14 years and 9-years-old).
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