As a strong woman, there are probably some things you promised yourself never to waver on for the sake of a man. But sometimes we forget or worse, we feel trapped in the relationship. So here’s a reminder if you need one: ladies, these are 7 things you shouldn’t ever do, even for the man of your life.
1) Coddle his ego
There’s no need to hide it if you can do “man’s jobs” better, like handling the family finances. And never pass over a job where you earn more than he does, simply because he’ll “lose face” in front of your family and friends. Say it with me: don’t let his embarrassment get in the way of your ambition.
2) Compromise your morals
Your boundaries are sacred. By all means, communicate openly about your personal beliefs and be willing to see them from different perspectives. But a partner who ignores your “no”, or tries to change them for selfish reasons, is not worth your time.
3) Let him put you down
There’s a fine line between constructive criticism and jibes. But listen to your emotions and the difference will be fairly clear — are you coming away hurt and upset or empowered to work on yourself? Call him out on it, demand that you go for couples therapy together, divorce him in the worst-case scenario. But never, never take his emotional abuse lying down.
4) Stop seeing your friends
Even if you are married, you are your own person and have the right to your own life. It’s important not to let your support system be swallowed up by one person, even if he is the man of your life. And if your partner demands otherwise, that’s a huge warning sign.
5) Let yourself be taken for granted
As women, we are often socialised to be selfless and giving in relationships. Things like emotional labour conventionally fall on the shoulders of women, with nary a word of thanks. Self-confidence is the new sexy — don’t be afraid to spotlight your own work every now and then! If your partner is a supportive one, he’ll gladly let you know of his appreciation.
6) Give him the reins
Relationships should be equal. The time when a woman’s life revolved around her man is long past, and neither your partner nor his wants should control your life. Typically, erosion of your independence is a slow process, you might not even notice it until it’s too late! Don’t be too quick to dismiss the little tell-tale signs, like feeling compelled to ask him for permission all the time.
7) Accept double standards
It’s not okay if you are constantly supporting your man, and he’s not doing the same for you. Or maybe he can laugh at you, but god forbid he’s the butt of the joke. Never be willing to accept these double standards as a ‘normal’ part of your relationship.
ALSO READ: VIRAL: Single mom teaches her son to do chores because housework “isn’t just for women”
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