What happens when you are spanked? Is being spanked as a child traumatic? Parents, learn about the harmful effects of spanking your kids here.
Among parents, psychologists, and paediatricians, there is raging disagreement over this age-old parenting dilemma. It's really no secret that spanking has been a contentious issue for a very long time, actually decades. This article will examine the effects of spanking on a child's brain and behaviour from a scientific perspective.
Spanking: What Is It?
Spanking, a kind of corporal punishment, is employing physical force to inflict pain on someone. To do this, one may hit, slap, whip, etc. It's important to note that if the aim is to inflict pain, discomfort, or fear, it is spanking regardless of whether it is "open hand" or not or how light or hard it is.
In Singapore, another variation of corporal punishment is caning, or hitting the other person with a stick.
The strong punishment is meant to terrorise the youngster and threaten harm in order to alter the child's behaviour.
What's irking is that despite the overflow of studies and alternatives from child experts available online, these forms of harsh punishment remain a staple discipline tool in Singapore.
In a joint study by Singapore Children’s Society and Yale-NUS College in 2021, it was revealed that 45 per cent of the 747 parents who were part of the study said that they had used physical discipline at least once in the past year. Nearly 30 per cent said they used it regularly.
Ironically, however, the parents who used physical discipline admitted to having a lot of internal conflicts while they were using this method to punish their children. They described it as being an intensely negative experience and felt guilty and remorseful afterwards.
So the question remains - despite being conflicted about this type of discipline, along with the emotional tension and discomfort, why are we still using it? Why are we still spanking our kids?
Is Spanking Your Kids Effective?
Numerous studies have demonstrated that spanking and other physical forms of punishment can put kids at considerable risk, but many parents don't seem to be getting the message.
According to Sandra Graham-Bermann, PhD, a psychology professor and the director of the University of Michigan's Child Violence and Trauma Laboratory,
“It’s a very controversial area even though the research is extremely telling and very clear and consistent about the negative effects on children. People get frustrated and hit their kids. Maybe they don’t see there are other options.”
However, according to Alan Kazdin, PhD, a psychology professor at Yale University and the head of the Yale Parenting Center and Child Conduct Clinic, spanking is ineffective. Kazdin, who presided over the APA in 2008, asserts that
"You cannot punish out certain behaviours that you do not want. According to the findings, corporal punishment is not necessary. We are not abandoning a successful method. We claim that this is a terrible idea that is ineffective."
"I was caned growing up and I turned out fine." Really?
A possible reason why people still adhere to this harsh form of discipline is the belief that it is necessary. Some may even think that it contributes to them having the toughness and discipline they possess as adults. Thus, we always hear them say, "I was spanked as a kid and I turned out fine."
However, according to the study, young adult respondents who were physically disciplined as children grew up with poorer emotion regulation, self-esteem and parent-child relationships.
"Sure, we may be able to function in our everyday lives, but if we look closer at our social-emotional selves, are we able to cope with negative emotions in healthy ways? Is our self-worth based on other people’s perception of us? Do we have a positive, thriving relationship with our parents?
These are important markers that tell us whether physical discipline has impacted us, beyond what we project on the surface," wrote Ang Boon Min, Chief Executive Officer of Singapore Children’s Society.
Effects Of Spanking Children
If you still adhere to this harsh form of discipline, we invite you to read the following effects of spanking or corporal punishment on children:
1. Spanking negatively impacts parent and child relations
The effect that spanking may have on the relationship between parents and children is another crucial factor that needs to be taken into account. Children may become terrified, confused, and unsure about whether they can trust their parents if parents frequently use physical force to "correct" problems.
Additionally, it excuses inappropriate conduct (such as spanking) rather than addressing the real cause of most problems. What exactly do children learn, for instance, if a parent intervenes in a fight between siblings over a toy and spanks both of them? They discover that arguing over toys results in a spanking for both of them!
2. Spanking your kids will fuel anger for both parents and children
Children frequently think that punishment is unfair. Compared to other forms of discipline, corporal punishment is the one that they are most likely to reject. Even though they do not have the same standards as adults, children do have a built-in sense of justice.
Children do not, however, think logically as adults do. This can stop punishment from having the desired effect and lead to an irate child.
Often, the emotion of injustice turns into one of embarrassment. Children who are subjected to humiliating punishment either revolt or withdraw. While spanking may give the impression that the youngster will be terrified to repeat the wrongdoing, the child is more likely to develop a dread of the spanker.
3. Hitting models hitting
According to studies, children who grow up in families where slapping is practised are more prone to use aggressiveness to resolve disagreements as adults.
The act of spanking shows that it's acceptable for people to hit each other, especially when it's big people hitting little people and stronger people hitting weaker people.
Children discover that a good swat is the best way to address an issue. A youngster who is spanked to regulate their behaviour is likely to continue this style of contact with siblings, peers, and eventually a spouse and children.
4. It promotes a cycle of violence
Children who received physical punishment were more likely to support hitting as a method of settling disputes with siblings and peers. Parents who frequently spanked their children were more likely to believe it was acceptable if they had received frequent physical punishment as children. Their offspring, in turn, frequently thought that spanking was a suitable form of punishment.
5. Spanking could result in abuse.
The risk of starting corporal punishment is that you can feel like you need to use stronger weapons: your hand becomes a fist, the switch turns into a belt, the folded newspaper turns into a wooden spoon, and what started out as something seemingly innocent now turns into child abuse.
Punishment encourages the abuse of children. Because they have not learnt alternatives and automatically go into punishment mode when their child misbehaves, parents who are conditioned to punish set themselves up to treat their children more harshly.
Based on a growing body of research suggesting that the corrective measure causes more harm than good, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) strongly advised parents not to spank their kids in a 2018 statement.
Numerous research studies have shown that physical punishment, such as spanking, hitting, and other methods of inflicting pain, can make kids more aggressive, antisocial, and prone to physical and mental health issues.
According to the AAP, research conducted over the past 20 years has shown that striking young children makes them more aggressive and does little to alter their undesired behaviour. Additionally, studies have connected spanking to a higher risk of mental health issues and poorer brain growth.
4. Spanking your kids may lead to behavioural problems
It is simple to comprehend how spanking might produce behavioural issues given how much of an impact it can have on psychological and cognitive functions. Since emotions have an impact on behaviour, emotional problems have the potential to spread to other areas of life.
“The new AAP statement includes data that show that kids who were spanked in their early years were more likely to be more defiant, show more aggressive behaviour later in preschool and school and have increased risk for mental health disorders and lower self-esteem,” says paediatrician Karen Estrella, MD.
5. Spanking harms the brain
The effects of spanking on the brain may be more severe than you realise. It has been demonstrated that repeated occurrences of harsh corporal punishment (HCP), such as spanking, cause grey matter in adolescents' brains to decrease.
Gray matter, the tissue that connects brain cells, is necessary for normal brain growth and operation. It is crucial for many brain-based processes, including those involving emotions, senses, intelligence, learning, speech, muscle control, and memory.
This suggests that kids with less grey matter may have difficulties with these essential skills and subsequently in many different areas of their lives.
6. Spanking may result in kid's poorer physical health
Physical punishment is a form of intimidation and threat-based instruction. Being under threat brings so much stress.
Long-term stress exposure during early childhood is linked to various adverse physical consequences later in life, in addition to mental disease. These adult offspring had a nearly twofold increased risk of developing cardiovascular disease, autoimmune illnesses, early death, and all-around poorer health.
Regardless of how it is defined or whether one thinks it constitutes child abuse, a growing body of evidence shows strong links between spanking and a number of negative effects over time.
7. Spanking your kids may bring trauma
The emotional consequences of spanking are frequently thought by parents to have essentially worn off once the wailing stops, and the child has "gotten over it."
It could come as a surprise to learn that just when a child has stopped weeping, the body has not forgotten what happened. Instead, the exact reverse is true. Even years after the physical spanking, the body retains the event as trauma.
Additionally, it sets up the kid for continued trauma in the future.
Do all children who receive spankings suffer severe lifelong trauma? Though not necessarily, the chances are unfavourably stacked against them. Even if the adult thinks the punishment is light, there is no way for the adult to predict how much suffering the kid will endure.
“Physical discipline is okay, as long as I am calm and rational when I use it.” Wrong.
This is another common misconception about this form of punishment. When parents are in control of their emotions, then spanking can be beneficial. But ironically, more often, they are not. According to the study, most of the parents reported feeling very angry or frustrated in the moment and physical discipline was typically used on impulse.
Also, if you claim that you are in control of your emotions, then you would be able to think of other ways to discipline your child - something that does not involve physical punishment.
What Corporal Punishment Does to Your Child
First off, children who have experienced HCP are more likely to later externalise their behaviour (e.g., fight, swear, or yell) and display aggression.
Furthermore, parents who spank their children are essentially teaching them that using physical force to resolve conflicts is perfectly appropriate. Problems with moral development or the capacity to discriminate between right and wrong can then result from this.
For instance, if children are spanked for every infraction they commit as children, they may come to believe that it is okay to physically attack others. Additionally, they could be more inclined in the future to administer HCP to their own kids.
Moreover, children who receive spankings are more likely to engage in antisocial behaviour. This can be a result of how they feel about themselves after receiving a spanking. They may begin to experience depression if they believe they are failures or troublemakers, and this may manifest as antisocial or excessively introverted conduct.
We Know Better so We Should Do Better
It can be so quick and easy to shift the blame to our parents, who instilled in us this form of harsh punishment. However, we need to remember that unlike us, they just had to make do with what they had and what they knew.
"Our parents parented under different circumstances, and they (in most likelihood) did their best with the kind of knowledge they had in the past.
Over the decades, however, research into child development and brain science has allowed us to gain alternative perspectives on how to parent our children better. This is why we must also aim to do better," wrote Ang Boon Min.
Ways To Discipline Without Spanking Your Kids
Here are several viable alternatives to spanking given the overwhelming evidence that it is ineffective and that there are other ways to discipline:
- Whenever feasible, start by building a relationship with your child; they must have faith in you in order to obey your instructions.
- Using a loving and accommodating parenting approach, you may help your child learn self-control.
- Praise children for their good behaviour by using positive reinforcement
- When teaching your child, be tough and consistent while also being kind and courteous.
- Make sure your punishment methods are fair and think about talking with your child about what that entails for the two of you.
- Young children respond well to strategies like being taken out of an environment where they are acting improperly or being led to another activity.
- Older children cope well with natural consequences in safe conditions.
- Teenagers learn and reason best when given inductive discipline.
- Verbal abuse, public humiliation, or any other type of cruel punishment are never acceptable forms of punishment.
- Instead of punishing bad conduct, discipline children by teaching it.
- Recognise that kids have rights just like anyone else, including the right to safety.
Inappropriate child behaviour frequently makes parents angry. They don't comprehend why someone they care about would purposefully act inappropriately. Parents frequently use tried-and-true techniques or ones that stem from fury or frustration.
If you want to raise kids who are healthy, happy, and have close relationships with you, spanking is never a good idea.
ALSO READ: