You know you are a Singaporean parent when...

Singaporean parents are a distinctive breed. It's an innate trait which is rooted in most of us. Just how much of a Singaporean parent are YOU?

Singaporean parents

We, the parents of Singapore pledge to be true to our Asian roots, regardless of age, size, or gender, to build an over-achieving society based on hygiene and myopia so as to achieve happiness, progress, and prosperity for our nation.

You know you are a true-blue Singaporean parent when….

You are told: Baby Bonus FTW!

You announce your pregnancy and people tell you "Wah, good leh, now got baby bonus".

Because y’know, Gahmen say Singaporeans must go forth and multiply. National call of duty.

You start your hunt for a preschool when he's 2...months.

Everybody knows what happens to the early birds. And you, most definitely, want to be one of them!

Even if one month of preschool costs what your six years of primary school and four years of secondary school education combined did. But, hey, Baby Bonus FTW! (Refer to earlier slide)

You try to squeeze his Fencing classes between Abacus and Chinese Enrichment on Saturdays

A Singaporean parent's gotta do what a Singaporean's gotta do.

Some people call us kiasu but, really, we simply take pride in giving new meaning to the phrase "well-rounded individual". Who says Singaporean kids are all work and no play? We let them play the piano on weekends.

Spectacles are the first fashion accessories you buy your toddler.

Singaporean parents have been advocating the nerd look circa 1965. Even before it became a thing yo. Let it never be said that Singaporean parents are not fashion-forward.

Yeap, its official. As with everything else, we Singaporean parents have topped the charts—Singapore has the highest prevalence of myopia. See previous slides for why.

You make an annual trip to Mustafa for that perfect sari for your kid.

Because Racial Harmony Day is really a huge thing. We also know how to get creative and assemble a Japanese kimono, never mind that it's not really an official race in Singapore.

And god forbid if your chinese daughter doesn’t look as ethnically Indian as her peers!

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You invoke the almighty Karang Guni when all else fails

Okay, we'll let you in on our secret. The reason why our kids are held up as sterling examples of Asian excellence is all due to our Karang Guni guy.

Your child has been rolling on the floor and frothing at the mouth for the last half-hour just because you won't give him that slice of cake? Fret not. Explain to this difficult child how it is simply financially prudent to cut our losses and get whatever we can by selling them to the rag-and-bone man. Like so:

"Ah Boy, you don't (insert desired action) ah, I sell you away to the karang guni man later hor!!!"

This brings instantaneous relief and is highly recommended as an effective disciplinary method until the age of 13.

Tried, tested, and proven effective by generations of wise Singaporean parents.

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You don't really need to learn to cook, even for the pickiest of children

Many of us Singaporean parents have never touched the stove other than to fry an egg or cook some instant noodles. But we don't let that silly fact stop us from fattening up our children.

The only thing we really have to worry about during mealtimes is having to decide what to eat from the huge array of mouth-watering local delights at amazing prices.

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You always have a tiny bottle of hand disinfectant in your bag

In Singapore, cleanliness is truly next to godliness. We are not the greenest city in Asia for no reason.

True to our national calling, Singaporean parents are also firm believers in this when it comes to our parenting duties.

We make sure our children are impeccably clean. For those unfortunate times when hand disinfectant is not available, we will carry around a tiny, ubiquitous bottle of hand sanitizer to rid our children's hands off any germs and bacteria. We don't let anything faze us in our valiant fight for our children against the microscopic minions of evil!

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Proximity to good schools is high on your list of conditions for good real estate

And finally, when you are looking for a good nest to bring up your brood, you know that the mandatory condition of a good location for your new home is its proximity to a "good school".

Not all schools are created equal, ok? Good primary school = good secondary school = good tertiary education = good life. Every good Singaporean parent knows that. Duh.

Singaporean parents: Love us or hate us, but you will know us when you see us! What else do you think makes a Singaporean parent unique? Tell us in your comments!

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Written by

Leigh Fan

Traits of a Singaporean parentSingapore parenting styleSingaporean parents