She was only 14, and still a minor, but she was no longer a virgin and was currently seeing two guys. Embracing her sexuality was nothing new to her, [even though in Singapore law, sex with a 14-year-old was considered statutory rape] but selling sex for money or favours, was.
However, when a friend asked if she would entertain a man for cash, she leaped at the chance. That encounter got her $80, which she subsequently blew on dinner and drinks at a nightclub.
This is but one of several cases that has been referred to Dr Carol Balhetchet, youth services director of the Singapore Children’s Society and an expert in the field of teenage sex and pregnancy. She says that she has seen an increase in such cases in recent years.
A hot commodity
Sex is a hot commodity and these youths, as well as opportunistic pimps, recognise that and are using it to get what they want. According to a report in The New Paper, a quick check online reveals multiple advertisements by young girls offering sex for money, while others were more specific advertising their services for a ‘sugar daddy’.
Reasons behind it
According to Dr Balhetchet, the increasingly materialistic culture in our society has fueled this trend. She says, “We live in a materialistic world, children grow up getting whatever they want. When parents can’t afford to give it to them, children find other ways to get it.”
Mrs Rachel Lee, assistant director of the Fei Yue Family Services Centre adds that selling sexual service is seen as an easy way to earn the money they need to support a comfortable lifestyle.
A need to be recognised
The girls that these women see are not always a product of a broken home or come from a low income family. Mr David Kan, executive director and senior counselor at the Family Life Centre, suggests that even though money is a strong factor, the need to be recognised and wanted could also lure these girls into the industry. He says, “Emotional security is non-materialistic [and] something financially comfortable families can fail to give.”
Communication is key
Thus, what should yo,u as a parent, do to best prevent your child from needing to engage in such activities? According to Dr Balhetchet, mothers should try to be close to their daughters and make it easy for their daughters to talk to them about anything, even relationships and sex.
Mrs Lee also advocates speaking to your children about traditionally taboo topics such as sex, openly. She says, “When parents don’t know how to talk to their children about it, teens will find out themselves through their peers, or websites. [And] they might get the wrong values.”
This could have been one of the reasons why the 14-year-old girl went wild. According to Dr Balhetchet, while she came from a secure family, she had little interaction or meaningful communication with her parents and siblings. Perhaps, if they had talked more, she would not have gone so far astray.
So, make it a habit to communicate with your child, even if they ask you about sex.
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