That magical six-week waiting period is almost over and as a husband, you can’t wait to really be with your wife again. But you’re not getting those vibes from her. She’s distracted, busy and tired–to the point that you’re not sure you’ll ever have sex again.
Be patient
Just because your wife isn’t pulling your clothes off (and hers) like a madwoman doesn’t mean she doesn’t want sex. She’s been through a lot. You were there–you saw how that baby got here. That’s a lot of trauma on a body, so it does take time to heal. So out of love and respect for her amazing body, go slow. Take it a step at a time.
Cuddling
Cuddling can be very intimate and sexual. Knowing you love all of her–not just her ‘down there’ parts will help her rework her way into feeling sexually attractive and desirable. Cuddling can also provide her with the comfort and babying she needs after being all things to the baby all day long.
Exercise
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Post-baby moms find little time for anything other than caring for the baby. Make it a priority to exercise with your wife. Whether it be a daily walk or jog or playing a sport you both enjoy, exercise together. Exercise makes you feel better–body and mind. Feeling good about herself will make your wife more ready to get back in the swing of things.
Go slow
Slow down, Romeo. Again, you were there. You saw what took place. Having sex hurts the first few times after giving birth. It may be downright painful the first several times–especially penetration. So go slow, use plenty of lubricants and don’t take offence at her tensing up or even expressing pain and displeasure. But don’t take it personally.
If she’s hesitant
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If your wife just isn’t interested or seems afraid (of the pain, not of you), talk to her–assuring her that you love her and that you find her as desirable as ever. Assure her that:
- Leaking breasts and a tummy aren’t factors in your wanting to make love
- You are willing to find other ways to express intimacy until she feels ready
- That you aren’t mad at her
- That you are amazed and in love with what her body is capable of
Sex will come
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Rarely does a woman choose to give up sex after childbirth. So remember, don’t take it personally and be patient. It will come–and so will you.
