Having sex after kids can be super challenging but it is so important to keep your marriage alive! We know, once you’ve put your kids to bed, done the chores, prepared everything for the next day, both you and your partner will be exhausted and all you want to do is crawl into bed and sleep.
But a marriage needs more than just once-in-a-while sex. An easy and fun way of keeping your marriage alive and exciting is by sneaking in quickies throughout the week, with exciting lead-ups to the big moment.
Here are 12 tips to keep in mind so you don’t neglect sex after kids, and instead, jazz up your marriage in unexpected and spontaneous ways!
Sex after kids: We make it easy for you!
1. Do it in the afternoon!
When the kids are down for nap time, it’s also time for mummy and daddy to go down on each other. Some experts even suggest that 3 PM is the best time to have sex. Keep a baby monitor on by the bed, so you won’t have any unwanted surprises!
2. Flirt throughout the day
This is the foreplay before the foreplay. Send flirty texts to your husband or even flirt openly with him in front of the kids throughout the day. The kids will see it as playful affection between mummy and daddy. This sets the mood for sex later on at night.
3. Dress for the occasion
Yes, your staple outfits at home may be a loose tee shirt and baggy shorts, but make a little effort by dressing up just a little (so you can both dress each other down later on). It makes for a nice change and drops a big hint for both of you to be in the mood.
Tip: Skip the undies 😉
4. Don’t stress out over the big O
If one of you can’t finish, or even the both of you, don’t stress about it! Sometimes, it’s enough just to be intimate for a while. If you go into it with an aim to finish, you might become too preoccupied with the end goal to enjoy the journey.
5. Enjoy some fantasies
Sex after kids doesn’t have to be boring! You can still enjoy some fantasies while having sex, even if it’s a quickie. Share these fantasies with your partner to get them aroused and in the mood.
6. Go all out
If a quickie is what you’re aiming for, then there isn’t much time for you to set the scene with candles and rose petals. Go all out with raw passion. Increase the intensity of your presence by using extra body language (go ahead, give your partner a little love bite if that tickles your fancy).
When you’re having sex after kids, you will find that you will need to try harder to concentrate! Focus on your partner and don’t let your mind wander to whether the baby is doing okay or if you have fed the dog or washed the dishes. Be in the moment from start to finish.
8. Get lubed up
If you are going in for quick sex, it often means there is little time for foreplay. But that doesn’t mean you have to get injured in the process. Use lube if you’re going in for a quickie to avoid unnecessary injuries.
9. Try new positions
A quickie can be a goodie if you get in the right position. Don’t stick to the same old boring position time and time again. Change it up a little to keep the fire alive.
10. Use toys and props
These don’t take up much time and in fact, it could even speed up the process. Throw in some toys into the mix or even “props” like an ice cube to make things exciting.
11. Keep your clothes on
This can actually be quite exciting for some couples. Ella Eyre sang, “we don’t have to take our clothes off” and she’s quite right. It also saves you some time getting dressed after sex.
12. Sneak around (the house)
You don’t just have to do it in the bedroom. You can even have a quickie in the laundry room, the bathroom and if you’re feeling a little adventurous, maybe even the living room. Though this might be a little challenging after kids. Just saying… the last option would work well with tip #11.
See? Who says sex after kids is challenging? Now what are you waiting for? Get frisky, mums and dads!