"Should I put my spouse or my kids first?"

Of course you love them equally and immensely, but who should be your priority? Parents weigh in

With all the demands on their time, parents often feel the pressure to prioritise certain things over others.

They often put their own plans on the back burner to accommodate what’s best for their families.

But, what if they’re made to choose between their spouse or their kids? Who would they place on the top spot of their list of priorities?

One user on theAsianparent Community incited an interesting conversation by asking a simple question: “Should I put my spouse or my kids first?”

The responses weren’t exactly unanimous but most of the respondents agreed that putting your spouse first benefits your family as a whole.

Here are some of their responses.

Happy Parents = Happy Children

Mom of one, Jamie K., began by citing a famous quote, which says “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother”.

From this, she elaborated on her stance that happy parents raise happy children, adding that she loves both her spouse and kids, but prioritizes her focus depending upon the situation.

New mom Roshni M. agrees: “Spouse above kids for me. Happy parents = happy kids. [This] does not mean you should neglect the kids, but I definitely prioritize what hubby needs – he’s very reasonable and understanding, so there has been no conflict thus far. I would like to believe hubby agrees with me on this one too.”

For Liana Z., “both are as important; we must know how to divide our time with them so they wont be left out.”

“For me, honestly, it’d be my partner,” confesses Elton J. “Having things strong and healthy between us would be the most important thing. Trust me on this: you both together would make a better parent than just one.”

“It’s not as if I will love my children any less. It’s just a different kind of love.”

“I would put my spouse first because we have been through so much together and the happy life, the kids — all that happened because of the love I share with my spouse,” says Yuna L. “That being said, it’s not as if I will love my children any less. It’s just a different kind of love put out separately for my kids and my spouse.

Plus: at the end of the day, when the kids have grown and moved on with their lives, my spouse will be the one next to me to hopefully grow old gracefully with. So yes, I will love my children unconditionally and give them my all but at the end of the day, my man will always be the love of my life.”

Many parents agree that strong, loving marriages make for happier, healthier kids. Focusing on prioritizing your spouse doesn’t mean your children will cease to be a priority.

Loving parents who are united in doing what’s best for their kids open up wondrous ways for children to grow and flourish into happy, healthy, and confident kids.

If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them with us!

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Written by

Bianchi Mendoza

lifestyle