TAP top app download banner
theAsianparent Singapore Logo
theAsianparent Singapore Logo
Product Guide
Sign in
  • Together Against RSV
  • SG60
  • Pregnancy
    • Due date calculator
    • I'm pregnant
    • Trying To Conceive
    • Labour
    • After birth
    • Baby loss
  • Parenting
    • Parent's Guide
    • Relationship & Sex
  • Child
    • Newborn
    • Baby
    • Toddler
    • Pre-Schooler
    • Kid
    • Pre-Teen & Teen
  • Feeding & Nutrition
    • Diseases-Injuries
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Meal Planner
    • Health
    • Allergies & Conditions
    • Vaccinations
  • Education
    • Pre-School
    • Primary School
    • Secondary School
    • Primary School Directory
  • Lifestyle
    • Money
    • Travel & Leisure
    • Fashion
    • Home
    • Fitness
    • Contests & promotions
  • Events
  • Holiday Hub
  • Aptamil
    • Immunity
    • Intelligence
  • TAP Recommends
  • Shopping
  • Press Releases
  • Project Sidekicks
  • Community
  • Advertise With Us
  • Contact Us
  • VIP

Parenting lessons from an African tribe

3 min read
Parenting lessons from an African tribe

We found this inspiring parenting post circulating online. The author is unknown but the lessons to learn from this post is plentiful...

 

Sandra van der Steen / Shutterstock.com

Sandra van der Steen / Shutterstock.com

In Africa, there is a tribe where the birth date of a child is calculated from the day that the child was just a thought in it’s mother’s mind.

And when a woman decides that she will have a child, she goes off and sits under a tree, by herself, and she listens until she can hear the song of the child that wants to come.

And after she’s heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child’s father, and teaches it to him. And then, when they make love to physically conceive the child, some of that time they sing the song of the child, as a way to invite it.

And then, when the mother is pregnant, the mother teaches that child’s song to the midwives and the old women of the village, so that when the child is born, the old women and the people around her sing the child’s song to welcome it.

And then, as the child grows up, the other villagers are taught the child’s song. If the child falls, or hurts its knee, someone picks it up and sings its song to it. Or perhaps the child does something wonderful, or goes through the rites of puberty, then as a way of honoring this person, the people of the village sing his or her song.

Read the rest of this beautiful tradition on page 2

In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them.

The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.

And it goes this way through their life. In marriage, the songs are sung, together. And finally, when this child is lying in bed, ready to die, all the villagers know his or her song, and they sing—for the last time—the song to that person.

You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not.

When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn’t. In the end, we shall all recognize our song and sing it well. You may feel a little warbly at the moment, but so have all the great singers. Just keep singing and you’ll find your way home.

Author unknown

Partner Stories
Unlocking Financial Independence for the Next Generation
Unlocking Financial Independence for the Next Generation
Games to Play With Kids Indoors: 8 Fun Games You Can Play When You're Too Tired to Move
Games to Play With Kids Indoors: 8 Fun Games You Can Play When You're Too Tired to Move
How Stokke Products Can Be The Second-Best Gift To Parents After Giving Birth?
How Stokke Products Can Be The Second-Best Gift To Parents After Giving Birth?
What to Expect the First 24 Hours After Giving Birth
What to Expect the First 24 Hours After Giving Birth

Got a parenting concern? Read articles or ask away and get instant answers on our app. Download theAsianparent Community on iOS or Android now!

img
Written by

Roshni Mahtani

  • Home
  • /
  • Parenting
  • /
  • Parenting lessons from an African tribe
Share:
  • DeRAMA: Honouring motherhood through transformative postpartum care

    DeRAMA: Honouring motherhood through transformative postpartum care

  • Festive Buffets the Whole Family Will Love (Yes, Even the Kids)

    Festive Buffets the Whole Family Will Love (Yes, Even the Kids)

  • From Arcades to Cyberspace: Where Teens Hang Out Has Changed. Here’s How Parents Can Keep Them Safe

    From Arcades to Cyberspace: Where Teens Hang Out Has Changed. Here’s How Parents Can Keep Them Safe

  • DeRAMA: Honouring motherhood through transformative postpartum care

    DeRAMA: Honouring motherhood through transformative postpartum care

  • Festive Buffets the Whole Family Will Love (Yes, Even the Kids)

    Festive Buffets the Whole Family Will Love (Yes, Even the Kids)

  • From Arcades to Cyberspace: Where Teens Hang Out Has Changed. Here’s How Parents Can Keep Them Safe

    From Arcades to Cyberspace: Where Teens Hang Out Has Changed. Here’s How Parents Can Keep Them Safe

Get advice on your pregnancy and growing baby. Sign up for our newsletter
  • Pregnancy
  • Family Occasions
  • Lifestyle
  • Normal Delivery
  • Ages & Stages
  • Trying To Conceive
  • News
  • TAP Community
  • Advertise With Us
  • Contact Us
  • Become a Contributor


  • Singapore flag Singapore
  • Thailand flag Thailand
  • Indonesia flag Indonesia
  • Philippines flag Philippines
  • Malaysia flag Malaysia
  • Vietnam flag Vietnam
© Copyright theAsianparent 2026. All rights reserved
About Us|Privacy Policy|Terms of Use |Sitemap HTML
  • Tools
  • Articles
  • Feed
  • Poll

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it