Mum Needs Help: My 8mth old son cries when my in-laws carry him… Mother-In-Laws, Father-In-Laws, Sister-In-Laws… what should I do? Let him cry it out? Or take him back to carry and console?
Replies:
Grace Quek: same same….u are mentioning all th ILs…heheh same as my elder one last time….one way is to talk to him nicely that they love u like u…..i know he is still young….but tell him and graudually he will listen……on the other hand….ask ur ILs to buy things for him and give him…..worst to worst….u buy things for your ILs and ask them to pass to him….
Aileen Tay: Same problem…not just ILs, my parents also…he is now 22mths already. And he sees all of them pretty often!
Clara Leonie: pursue the child slowly & nicely…no force…
Vinz Kiong: I let my girl warm up with them 1st. Let them play with her for a while & i will keep telling her who they are before trying to hand her to them again.
Erlphira Irama: My eldest daughter too….what we did was, we bring her to our in laws during the weekend since we are working on weekdays…sometimes, we go out for an outing with my in laws…and during these times, we tried to make them hv conversation or mingle around….now she is 2yrs 5mths, she still hides behind my back when she sees them…but she did not cry and after 30mins, she will interact with them slowly. And I have to inform my in laws too not to go to her…let her go to them…
Rohane Ahmad: babies will cry to almost anyone not familiar to them. maybe u should bring him to meet IL’s more often. I know of a friend who spend most of her time outside the house just so her daughter is used to be around strangers. Also do not take away your crying son fr IL’s right away or they may perceive wrongly. Be diplomatic, don’t worry its just a passing phase.
Joanne Wright-Koh: How about sticking the pics of yr parents, inlaw’s, aunties n uncles on the fridge? Bring the child daily to view the pics and remind how much he/she is loved by them. 🙂
Erika Melson-Lim: Don’t let baby cry it out.. It adds to the trauma…
My daughter wouldn’t let ANYONE carry or touch her fm the age of 7mths!! Only me n her daddy!! It was stressful n and tiring and very hurtful to hear ppl make nasty comments abt her.. One even said ‘there must be something wrong with her!!” But my Pedi said not to worry .. Usually smart babies recognize ppl n faces likes n dislikes..he said his daughter was like tt til 3 yrs.. She’s now a doctor too!!
My girl finally out grew the hyterical crying at abt 13 mths but remained rather reserved…
My daughter is now 10 n is doing VERY well in Sch..
So to all parents out there w kids tt dislike strangers or cry wen other then mommy n daddy carry them .. Take heart.. We’ve got SMARt kids !! 😉
Lyn Nora: Oooh..I like that comment Erika! 🙂 My 6 month old son used to cry a lot (still does sometimes but not as bad as last time) around strangers…even with the IL’s…we visited them once a week too coz we’re working on the weekdays. Now he’s warming up to them slowly, the trick is to not let the IL’s take him away as soon as we stepped foot into the house..me or my husband will carry him & let him observe the surroundings…let the IL’s play with him but with us still carrying him..I will tell him that we’re going to his grandma hse..pls don’t cry and make grandma sad ok? (not sure if he understand but maybe it’s just coincidence on that day he did not cry with them..) But my son have problems with hearing other babies making a sound..he will cry!(esp in an enclosed area, he’s ok in public) Not so much with adults but with other babies! :S People tend to say that baby boy cries more than baby girls? Not sure how true, but through observation, it could be true? My friends mostly have baby girls..and they don’t cry as much.. About nasty comments, it is very hurtful…some people have no patience when hearing our babies cry..I tend to avoid them anyway possible..and the sad part is that these people have kids too. And it doesn’t help when they started to compare between babies.
Angela Tee: Babies and kids need to warm up, esp if they have just woken up. Ask your ILs to be patient. Ask them to do something the child likes, eg bounce a ball or other toys, or ask them to give a snack like small biscuits. Usually works.
Pamela Gordon: at this age, your bub is going through separation anxiety. Just carry him and let him adjust to everyone else. Dun force it on him or he might be too wary of people in future.
Kelly Kc: Let him cry out (he will stop). He is just unfamiliar with people he seldom come into contact with. You can reassure him that you are always nearby but that it is rude to cry without a valid reason when with grandma or grandpa.
Sandy Tng Wee Ling: Thanks for all your advices! My ILs always tell me to hide in the room and not let baby see me, they say he’ll not cry if he doesn’t see me. I don’t feel that approach is right coz I can see the fear in his face. Last week, my SIL carried him away in a rush to “avoid” seeing me and he burst out crying and after that, he was super sticky to me, even daddy carry also no use. Ya, I guess i’ll have to carry him and let him adjust to them slowly… thanks
Chong Leng Li: If he wants snacks etc, I asked my son to go to his grandad and ask him to open for him. He follows me around so I will deliberately sit nearer to my ILs so that he is between us. I don’t hand him immediately to them upon arriving, but let him mingle on his own pace. He don’t cry much bcos we bring him out often even when he is a small baby, and he got used to the noise and bustle. So if he cries now, I know he is really hurt or scared and needs immediate attention.
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