To say that experiencing miscarriage can be extremely traumatic for couples would be an understatement. It is both a physically and mentally traumatising journey that requires time to heal. And New Zealand’s parliament seems to have clearly understood this.
The country’s parliament passed a legislation giving mothers and their partners the right to paid leave following a miscarriage or stillbirth. This is a welcome step to help couples internalise their grief and loss, and recuperate to be able to move on.
New Zealand Passes Legislation For Paid Miscarriage Leave
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The bereavement allowance passed recently gives employees three-days leave when a pregnancy ends with a stillbirth without having to tap into sick leave. The measure is expected to become law in the coming weeks. The government also came in with statistics to prove why this is important to be done now
One in four New Zealand women have had a miscarriage, Ginny Andersen, the Labour member of Parliament who drafted the bill, said in her statement.
“I felt that it would give women the confidence to be able to request that leave if it was required, as opposed to just being stoic and getting on with life, when they knew that they needed time, physically or psychologically, to get over the grief,” said Ginny Andersen.
The leave provisions apply to mothers, their partners, as well as parents planning to have a child through adoption or surrogacy. The new law, however, does not apply to abortions. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s government last year also passed a historic law to decriminalise abortion.
Paid miscarriage leave introduced by New Zealand is surely a step in the right direction. Often women struggle to balance their work with changes like pregnancy, sometimes leading them to miss advancement in career opportunities.
But did you know that New Zealand is not the first country to have introduced this provision for women?
Here’s How Other Countries Are Dealing With This Issue
In India, a woman is entitled to paid leave for six weeks immediately following the day of her miscarriage. (Photo courtesy: Flickr)
India is the first country to have codified this provision in its laws. The Maternity Benefit Act 1961 states that in the case of miscarriage, a woman will be entitled to paid leave for six weeks immediately following the day of her miscarriage. Women suffering from illness arising out of miscarriage will be entitled to paid leave, of up to one month by providing medical proof. Sadly, many are not aware of the miscarriage leave provision in the country.
In Australia, people who miscarry are entitled to unpaid leave if they lose a foetus after 12 weeks. While in Britain, would-be parents who experience a stillbirth after 24 weeks are eligible for paid leave. The United States does not require employers to provide leave for anyone who suffers a miscarriage. This is tragic because up to 20 percent of all known pregnancies in the United States end in miscarriage.
While physically a woman may go through cramping, heavy bleeding, weakness post miscarriage, more often than not, it is the emotional healing that takes time. The biggest challenge which working women often face is going back to work without allowing their body ample time to heal and overcome the pain.
Which is why employers need to be empathetic towards female employees and allow them this time to heal.
If you have recently gone through this pain, we empathise with you and understand how difficult it may be for you. But don’t forget that you still have to move on and think about your life. Not only for yourself but also for your partner. Here are a few expert-recommended ways to try and start afresh.
How To Try And Heal From A Miscarriage
1. Processing the pain
While nothing can erase the loss you have suffered, there are steps you can take in both the short- and long-term to help you move toward healing and recovery. Everyone will handle their loss differently. Some may feel grief, some sadness, some guilt, and others may feel anger and loneliness.
You need to remember that your body and mind doesn’t function like a button. The switch on and switch off mode doesn’t apply here. So give some time process the pain and grieve.
2. Rely on friends, parents for support
You may not be able to resume your normal activities or go back to your jolly self, immediately after the loss. Which is where friends and family come into picture. Take help from your loved ones to talk about the loss, how you feel, and what might cheer you up.
3. Talk to your partner
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Miscarriage can often lead to strained relationships. It is very important to communicate with your partner exactly what you are feeling. Just like a woman, a man also goes through immense pain in losing their child. So understand your partner’s pain, which may be expressed differently from yours and give them the space they need to recover.
3. Eat nutritious food and stay healthy
Your body has gone through enough changes, including blood loss. It is therefore important to concentrate on your diet and eat healthy food, to help it recover faster. Consider adding iron, vitamin, carbohydrate, and protein-rich items to your daily diet. And if you opt for a supplement, it should only be post discussion with your doctor.
4. Consult a therapist
A grief counsellor can help you navigate through your pregnancy loss and recover more effectively. Whether its a psychologist or a medical doctor, if you need help, don’t hesitate to ask.
5. Don’t feel ashamed to grieve
There is no shame in grieving. Cry your heart out, if you feel that will make you feel better. Talk to a friend or a stranger and share your grief with them. Probably, the other person may not be able to understand you, but it will surely help to relieve your stress.
6. Plan a vacation
You can plan a vacation or a weekend getaway, whenever you are fit to travel. Trips are a great way to refresh your mind and help you divert your pain. It will not only help you spend quality time with your partner, but the joy of being at a new place will help reduce your stress.
7. Take help from support groups
Sometimes you may feel that sharing the pain with your friend doesn’t help because your wavelengths don’t match, especially when it comes to this subject. In this case, there are several online support groups that may help you connect with others who have gone through the same loss.
Remember that pregnancy loss can often push you towards loneliness. But you are not alone in this journey. With time, the pain will surely become bearable and you will recover. Moving on certainly doesn’t mean forgetting about your pregnancy, it is just a way of accepting your loss and walking ahead with life.
News Source: Healthline, New York Times
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