My Labour of Love

The date was 21 Dec 2002, a saturday. I had just gone for my weekly checkup that morning and before going home, I went to the ladies. Being a first time mommy, I had no idea what to expect but I saw brownish discharge. I walked out to my waiting grandma, told her about it and she marched me back to the O&G clinic. The doctor who had seen me barely an hour ago laughed and said "Well, looks like your son decided he wants to be born today".

So I was wheeled to the labour ward where the doctor did a check and said I was already 5cm dilated but since its my first child, it'll probably take awhile. My waterbag had not burst, I was not in any pain. I had a craving for ice cream and requested to go to the 7-11 downstairs. After that I went back to the labour ward and was hooked up to the various monitors etc. The doctor came in, did another check and said I was almost fully dilated so he was going to pop the waterbag.

The pain came almost instantly. I had requested earlier that no matter how bad the pain was, I did not want epidural. I wanted to experience natural childbirth. I had lost my mother 3 weeks before that and was still in mourning so I said a silent prayer to God, to my mother.

The pain got worse and at the peak, I gave up. I remembered drifting away, my husband shouting and crying, the doctors and nurses frantic. I had gone to another place, surrounded by white light. In the distance, I saw a figure who looked like my mother. I called out to her, she distinctly told me to go back, its not my time and my son will be born soon. I refused, I did not want anymore pain, I just wanted to be with her. At that same moment, I felt like I was falling through a void. In reality, the doctor had used a defibrillator. The pain came roaring back, all I remembered was screaming "Mommy, come back"..

I gave birth moments after that. As my eyes readjusted to my surroundings, I noticed everyone in the room was crying. What was really sweet, my beautiful son cried out a little to announce his arrival and opened up his big eyes almost immediately.

I gave birth to a little girl exactly 2 years later, also without painkillers but after a 12 hour labour. Coincidentally, the head nurse on duty was the same one as the time I gave birth to my son. Seeing me, she commented "I remember you, one of the most heartwrenching labour experiences I've seen in all my years as a nurse..and don't worry, I won't give you painkillers no matter how hard you scream because I know you can do it"..

I never saw my mom again after that first labour. Although it has been over 8 years, sharing with you my labour story brings back tears to my eyes..