The concept of guilt trip is something that most mums are familiar with, especially if they have young ones in the house. The first strains of ‘But mum…’ followed by whatever reason they can think of not to eat their veggies, or go to grandma’s, etc., always tugs at my heart as I await the guilt of not being the best mum wash over me.
Of course, there is no such thing as the perfect mum and that’s what we need to come to terms with when the little one looks at you with those puppy dog eyes and pouty mouth begging for the latest barbie doll.
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We count down the ’15 kinds of mum guilts’ that every mother will encounter at least once a week:
- Daddy-lets-me-do-it guilt
- Grandma-lets-me-do-it guilt
- You-promised-to-buy-me-something-but-you-didn’t guilt
- You-promised-to-go-to-Universal Studios-with-me-but-you-didn’t guilt
- I-can’t-believe-you-forgot-my-birthday guilt
- You-love-my-younger/elder-brother/sister-more-than-me guilt
- You-gave-my-younger/elder-brother/sister-the-bigger-piece-of-the-cake guilt
- You’re-on-your-smartphone-again guilt
- All-the-other-kids’-parents-bring-them-to-the-playground-everyday guilt
- You-made-me-late-for-school guilt
- You-forgot-to-sign-the-permission-slip-for-school-and-I-got-scolded guilt
- You-forgot-to-pack-my-favourite-pyjamas/toys/book-for-my-weekend-at-grandma’s guilt
- You-got-daddy’s-favourite-cookies-but-forgot-mine-so-you-love daddy-more guilt
- All-my-favourite-clothes-are-in-the-laundry guilt
- You-just-yelled-at-me guilt
Of course, the key ammo for these 15 kinds of mum guilts or any other guilt trip is for them to display without a shadow of a doubt how whatever you have done has caused (them) your child hurt/pain/irreparable damage, as well as made them doubt your love for them.
Dealing with it
It is exhausting and can be emotionally draining if you cave in to your child’s guilt trips so the best thing to do in situations like the above-mentioned 15 kinds of mum guilts is to deflect.
For example, if your little toddler puts on an expression akin to Puss in Boots in the ‘Shrek’ movies and says, ‘Mummmmy, why are my Spiderman pyjamas in the laundry? I neeeeed to wear it!,’ just offer to teach him (because you’re an awesome mum and full of alternative ideas) how to do his own laundry so that he can get his Spiderman pyjamas whenever he needs them.
Have any of you experienced any of the 15 kinds of mum guilts or have any more to add? Share with us your very own 15 kinds of mum guilts that you feel when your child shines their tear-stained eyes at you.
Here’s a video of a mum sharing how to deal with the very real issue of mummy guilt, and implementable measures to find a workable balance. This will help you to overcome any challenges if you face the 15 kinds of mum guilts we have named above!
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