The moment you find out about your pregnancy, you step on a joyous and adventurous journey with your little one. Then as pregnancy advances, you connect more closely with the growing foetus inside you.
Safe to say that the excitement you feel when your baby kicks for the first time can’t be expressed in words.
As your due date approaches, the anxiousness hits its peak and you can’t wait to hold your baby in your hands and snuggle the little one.
But unfortunately, not everyone is as lucky. Many expecting parents go through the misfortune of losing a baby after birth and no amount of words can express their grief.
A mum recently shared a similar heart-wrenching story of her unexpected pregnancy and then losing her child immediately after birth.
Pregnant At 19, Had Initially Thought Of Aborting The Foetus
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She was 19 years when she found out that she was six months pregnant. Even though she and her boyfriend were in a steady relationship of three years, she was scared to reveal her relationship to her parents.
Her family was waiting for her to graduate and lift them out of poverty. So initially the couple decided to abort the baby, but couldn’t go ahead with it.
Surprisingly, her boyfriend’s family lent them the support needed and she finally shared the news with her own parents.
Even though it was difficult, they finally agreed to get the couple married. This helped her look forward to her pregnancy.
It’s A Baby Girl
She was on cloud nine when she came to know that they were having a baby girl. She started taking extra care of herself. She never missed taking her prenatal vitamins and medicines and also went for all the checkups.
Her gynaecologist would always assure her that her baby was doing well and her heart rate was normal.
Excitement To Grief
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Then one morning, she began to experience intense pain in her back. She was rushed to the clinic where she delivered after 30 minutes of labour.
The doctors told her that her baby was fine, but she soon noticed that her baby started to turn dark.
Due to her condition, she was transferred to a bigger hospital and her husband and mum were with her child all the while, while she remained restless in the clinic with her mother-in-law.
She finally received the traumatic news that her baby died 14 hours after birth.
Gone, but never forgotten
It’s been three years that her daughter left them, but the pain is still fresh.
What hurts her till date is that she couldn’t even kiss or hug her own baby. She gave birth to a baby boy, who turned seven months on October 13, while her daughter celebrated her third year in heaven on October 2.
(Real story as narrated to theAsianparent, Philippines)
Losing A Baby After Birth: How To Cope-Up With The Grief?
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When you lose a baby at any stage of your pregnancy, grief takes centerstage.
It doesn’t allow you to get over the loss of your child, but you can still move through your grief to the healing phase. As they say, time is the biggest healer, and over time you can find peace and learn to think about the future.
This intense grief is like a mental trauma and you need to address it and talk about it.
According to WHO, losing a baby in pregnancy through stillbirth or miscarriage is a taboo topic worldwide. It is linked to shame and stigma. In fact, there are still so many women who suffer in silence as they don’t receive the appropriate and respectful care when their baby passes away.
Which is why we must all come together and open up about our collective losses.
Read: Stillbirth: How Having The Right Environment And Support System Help In Breaking The Silence
Singapore Helpline Numbers To Address Mental Health
If you are suffering from any mental health issue or you feel you need help, contact these helpline numbers immediately.
- Samaritans of Singapore:
1800-221-4444 (24 hours) /1-767 (24 hours)
- National Care Hotline:
1800-202-6868 (8am – 12am)
- Institute of Mental Health’s Mental Health Helpline:
6389-2222 (24 hours)
This article has been republished from theAsianparent-Philippines with permission.
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