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What To Keep In Mind When Disciplining Your Kids Is Just Not Working

4 Jul, 2013

If your child has exhausted every discipline tactic in your armory, try these sure-fire strategies for peace.

What to keep in mind when disciplining your kids is just not working

What to keep in mind when disciplining your kids is just not working

It’s a scenario that we have all faced at some point or another as parents: Your child is completely ignoring all efforts on your part at discipline.  And you are at your wit’s end.

In a situation like this, it's all too easy to throw a mega tantrum of your own in order to get yourself heard and respected. Well you may get heard, but as for earning respect... we are not too sure about that!

We bring you the steps to handle such a situation without completely losing your cool.


Step 1: Stay calm

Step 1: Stay calm

Sometimes when you're completely frustrated with your kids not listening to you, you may instinctively feel the urge to spank or yell at them.

Try not to give in to this temptation as spanking a child these days is not acceptable and can actually have negative effects on your child's development.

Yelling too may not have the desired effect with your child choosing to still ignore you anyway.

Rather than raising your voice and stomping your feet, take a deep breath, keep calm and figure out why your child is ignoring all attempts at discipline and now stands before you throwing a tantrum.


Step 2: Be assertive

Step 2: Be assertive

Approach the matter as calmly as you can. Sit your child down, get down to his eye level and deliver your message to them in a voice that is calm and controlled, but still assertive.

Assert that you run the household and that everyone, even you, has to respect the house-rules, even though theymay not want to sometimes. You can even illustrate this with the need for policemen and the consequences of not obeying the law as an adult.

Tell them that unfortunately, inappropriate behaviour has its consequences and that as much as they may not like this rule, you are going to have to implement it anyway.


Step 3: Consequences and apologizing

Step 3: Consequences and apologizing

Implement your regular course of action for when your child engages in inappropriate behaviour.

If it's an older child, it could be taking away phone, TV or other privileges, or giving them extra chores.

For a younger child, it could be time-out or sitting on the 'thinking chair'.

Whatever your disciplinary tactic may be, do stay consistent.


Step 4: Move on

Step 4: Move on

Once they have had time to think about their actions and have apologised, move on and stop talking about the incident. Don’t go on like a broken record, it counteracts what you are trying to achieve.

Give your child a hug, tell him that you love him and move on with your regular activities.

Remember, that what a child will usually remember the effect of what their action has on you.

If they know that throwing a tantrum or not listening to you winds you up and you become angry as a result, then children being children will re-visit that scenario on many occasions just to trigger that reaction from you.

But if you show restraint in the face of your child's inappropriate behaviour, and calmly show him that you mean business, your child will soon get bored with trying to work you up and pay attention what you have to say.

So keep calm, and keep reminding yourself that it's not a power battle between yourself and your child, and that positive discipline will help mold your child into a responsible adult.


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Written by

8288yan

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