Pointing out that there is a shift in the dynamics of a modern-day family, accomplished startup guru and author Dale Partridge thinks that men actually steal the luxury of rest from their wives under the pretence of earning for the family.
In a post that went viral, Dale points out some things that every husband should understand. Just because a man is earning while his wife works at home does not mean that it is an equal trade. He goes on to say that being a “breadwinner” doesn’t authorise men to escape the chores on weekends! In his words,
“The luxury of rest is a gift many men steal from their wives each weekend. Remember, the 40-hour work week is a cultural standard, but God tells us to share our wive’s burdens and protect her from strain.”
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And he is so right! There are a few husbands who end up sharing most of the responsibilities with their wives, not because they have to, but because they want to. However, an average wife still ends up doing many more chores than her husband. Maybe it is a cultural thing. Why else would a woman, who earns as much as her husband, come home to cook while her husband watches the TV? Maybe she likes to cook. But maybe, she also sees it as her ‘duty’, as her grandmother used to see cooking as!
The shift in the paradigm
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We are living in the new century. Many of us saw our mothers and grandmothers rising up to the challenge of managing the house in limited means. However, as the times change, so do the needs of the family.
As families grow increasingly egalitarian, husbands have started seeing their wives as partners in a real sense. The distinction between a man’s job and a woman’s job has blurred. Technology is also helping a lot. In this scenario, sharing the burden is not the new ‘in’ thing, it is slowly becoming the norm. However, it is not just the case where both are ‘working’. Husbands are increasingly becoming aware that even housework is real work.
Why do all this?
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For posterity! When I do the dishes while my wife cleans up the kitchen after we cook together, my son, although he is just 6 months old, watches it from his chair. Studies have shown that the impact of observation is much more than the impact of teaching something on children. That is why they are so quick to pick up bad habits but it takes a long time to adopt good manners.
So when you pick up the vacuum cleaner and clean the living room every weekend, your son is watching. He will end up helping his partner when the time comes. But if he sees you on the sofa, having a beer while watching football while your wife toils, what do you think he is going to do? What if your daughter sees this? Do you want her to toil while her partner ends up doing what you are doing?
So if you want to raise conscientious kids, Here are 3 things you should do.
- Set an example. You have promised your partner to be with her in sickness or health. Why not be there for her daily? Set an example for your children by being a sensitive partner to your wife. Share every burden with your wife, and also relax on weekends with her. Your children will pick up all the right things without you teaching them.
- Don’t attach a gender to a chore. Laundry? That is a woman’s job. Changing the fuse? It is a man’s job. If you say these things, your children would never learn to do the chores that are not ‘meant’ for them! Instead, teach them everything. This will help them in times to come.
- Involve them early. As soon as your toddler starts toddling, you can involve them in simple household activities. Give them lettuce leaves to tear, or dough to play with. Let them hand you the spanner while you fix a leaking pipe. This way, they will have fun while they learn.
In Dale’s own words, “It’s okay to rest, God even commands it, just make sure you’re not the only one doing it”.
Image source: Startup Camp
Also read: Why you should get your boys to do household chores
