A mother tells her kids to do something but instead of obeying her right away, they grumble and say "no". They kick, scream, cry and roll over the floor. Because this mother can't accept this kind of behaviour, she finds herself competing with her kids. She shouts at them and drags them to make sure that they understand that she's the boss. Is this scene familiar? Every home must've had its own fair share of drama.
Going on a power struggle is not a good way to handle misbehaviour. It only causes parents to become angry and kids to become rebellious. Because it's a struggle, nobody wants to give in. Kids want to win over their parents while moms and dads want to show their kids that they're in control.
The key is to develop self-control. Although it's very tempting to vent out your frustration, remember that your children will emulate everything that they see you do. So if you let go of your composure, they will immediately think that it's alright for them to go out of control as well.
Allow them to talk about what they think of your rules and expectations but try not to be judgmental. Just help them to put some words into what they're feeling then tell them the reason why you want them to do these things. Make it clear to them that they have your support. Help them understand that you are on their side, not against them.