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6 Tips to Get My Parents to Stop Parenting my Kid

21 Dec, 2012

The issue of trying to get your parents to respect your own parenting methods is an age-old problem. Instead of turning the issue into a source of tension and conflict, here is some advice that will help you deal with this matter.
Get your parents to follow your rules

Get your parents to follow your rules

Most new parents often need the help of their own parents when it comes to minding their kids. This dependency could stem from a few reasons such as: limited finances to send you baby to a professional caregiver, the need for you to return to full time work, exhaustion from taking care of your baby single handedly, and illness. Whatever the reason, parents usually have a hard time getting their parents (the grandparents) to understand and follow their rules and child rearing formats.
Be firm

Be firm

Being firm from the very beginning will help to set the platform for what is acceptable and what is not. This of course is easier said than done, especially when the grandparent feel that they have the wealth of experience you do not have. Taking the time to explain your thought process and making them understand that times have changed and there are lots of newer ways to do things, may be challenging and even frustrating, but sometimes it does have positive effects, if done in a non condescending way.
Communicate

Communicate

Good communication is important, as this will help keep the negative feelings from taking over and resentment building up as time goes by. Addressing issues together with the support of your spouse will help the grandparents understand you are serious, when you laying down guidelines.
Modern parenting

Modern parenting

Provide your parents with a lot of reading material and videos that show newer and medically accepted ways to do things. This may help your parents better understand the reasons you choose to do things differently. It will also help your parent to see things in a newer and more modern light. A lot of the time grandparent's take on the parenting role in their own style, because they are simply not aware of any new developments that are more beneficial and current.
Talk to your parent

Talk to your parent

Some grandparents try to parent your child because they see your participation and parenting skills as lacking. Although not often, this has proven to be true, and the grandparent feel that it is their duty to set your child on the "right path". There are also grandparents who override your decision and rules simply because they want to appear to be the good party in the equation. This of course makes matters worse especially when your child eventually prefers their company over yours. This can be very frustrating and painful, therefore addressing this situation with some outside help maybe beneficial. If talking to your parent does not work, seek the help of trusted older friends to gently intervene.
The last resort

The last resort

Some parents resort to threats, when they feel that they are fighting a losing battle. This is a dangerous game to play as it may end up backfiring and causing even more problems for everyone. Therefore, this option should only be used when all others have been exhausted.
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theAsianparent

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