How to change your husband without him knowing

For weeks or months now, you have been pondering about what changed in your marriage. You used to find your husband’s quirks adorable before. Now, they are just so irritating that you want to pull all your hair out in frustration. Having the desire to change your husband is risky business and, if not done discreetly and appropriately, it could lead to numerous fights or even a divorce.

Most people think that they truly know the person that they are marrying. Sure, they know about their partner’s quirks and flaws, but they all think that they can change or eliminate this as soon as they are married. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. People never change and if they do, they do it willingly and not because someone wants them to.

Starting to change your husband:

In order to successfully change your husband, you must realize that the key is to not nag. It won’t do any good. He will get annoyed and may feel resentment towards you. Remember that in a marriage, it takes two to tango. In order to prompt him to change on his own, you must be prepared to change as well. However before doing anything else, internalize why you want your husband to change. Here are some tips on what to do and how to start:

Eliminate stress

Do you always wish that your husband would change, especially when you are stressed and overwhelmed, and he’s making the situation worse? Try not to. Instead, consider how your mood or day affects your feelings towards him. Does the urge to change him still exist on a good day? It is very important to determine this as you might just feel bitterness or unhappiness whenever you are down, which is normal for all married couples.

Talk it out

Have you tried talking to your husband? Remember, your husband is not a mind reader. He might not have any idea about your internal complaints. Have a heart-to-heart with him without being forceful or rude. You never know, he might just change willingly without you having to do any dirty work.

If all else fails, here are some tips to help you change your husband without appearing like a villainous wife:

Be Extra Sweet

Manipulating your husband is not at all bad, especially when you are doing it oh-so-sweetly. If you need something done, convince him using your sweet ways by kissing him first or giving him a massage. Once he is putty in your hands, he’ll say, ‘Yes’ to anything you tell him.

Appreciate His Skills

Have you always wanted your husband to help around the house? You might want to brush up on your compliments to do this. If you have already belittled his manly skills in the past, he may not have the nerve to offer them to you now.

Give him a chance to showcase his skills by showing him that you appreciate him. Every time you need a jar opened, compliment your husband that he is so strong that only he had the strength to open the can. If you need to have the kitchen faucet fixed, ask him to do it by telling him something like this, ‘I want to call the plumber, but I feel that you could do it much better than him, and you look so good while doing it too.’ Don’t overload it though as he might feel that you are just tricking him into doing something. Be sincere.

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Written by

Karen Mira

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