X
theAsianparent Logo
theAsianparent Logo
Product GuideSign in
  • Pregnancy
    • Due date calculator
    • I'm pregnant
    • Trying To Conceive
    • Labour
    • After birth
    • Baby loss
  • Parenting
    • Parenting & Play by Friso
    • Parent's Guide
    • Relationship & Sex
  • Ages & Stages
    • Baby
    • Toddler
    • Pre-schooler
    • Kids
    • Pre-teen & Teen
  • Feeding & Nutrition
    • Diseases-Injuries
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Meal Planner
    • Health
    • Allergies & Conditions
    • Vaccinations
  • Education
    • Pre-School
    • Primary School
    • Secondary School
    • Primary School Directory
  • Lifestyle
    • Money
    • Travel & Leisure
    • Fashion
    • Home
    • Fitness
    • Contests & promotions
  • News
    • International
    • Health
    • Celebrity
    • Singapore
  • Money Parenting
    • Tips for Parents
    • Tips for Toddlers
    • Tips for Older Kids
    • The 5 Personas
  • TAP Recommends
  • Shopping
  • Press Releases
  • Project Sidekicks
  • Community
  • Advertise With Us
  • Contact Us
  • Become A Contributor
  • VIP

15 hilarious tweets that all married couples can relate to

3 min read
15 hilarious tweets that all married couples can relate to15 hilarious tweets that all married couples can relate to

"Marriage is basically agreeing to not sleep in a comfortable position again for the rest of your life."

Good marriages aren't only filled with love but a great sense of humour.

And there is no shortage of people who totally just get this on Twitter. We've rounded up the funniest, and most on-point tweets that are sure to crack up married couples.

1.

Me: Look, I love you, But I made exactly the amount of cheese & crackers I want to eat right now.
Wife: But I only...
Me: EXACTLY the amount — keith (@tchrquotes) November 4, 2014

2.

Marriage is basically just whispering, "Are you awake? I need to show you this cat video." — Mel Evans (@mel_evans) February 22, 2016

3.

The best thing about being married is having someone who can tell you if something is disgusting or not... — Boyd's Backyard (@TheBoydP) February 24, 2016

4.

Marriage is basically agreeing to not sleep in a comfortable position again for the rest of your life. — ⚡️QUΞΞN ΔLΔNΔ⚡️ (@AlanaRockz) November 16, 2015

5.

Today's my husband's birthday, so... *flips coin to see if I should shave above the knee* — Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) January 29, 2016

6.

You pee too loud. - Marriage — KC of TX (@kcmoore51) February 12, 2016

7.

[runs to the door to greet wife]
I'm afraid there's been a terrible accident involving all the things you asked me to do today. — David Hughes (@david8hughes) February 28, 2016

8.

Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn't wanna share. — Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) December 30, 2015

9.

[rolls over in bed and whispers to wife]
"I ate like 75 chicken nuggets today" — Rocky Momax (@rockymomax) February 16, 2016

10.

Me: Wait, so it's cool for you to use my phone charger but I can't touch yours? Wife: Correct. — Rock (@TheMichaelRock) January 28, 2016

11.

It's 3pm and my husband and I are still sitting in bed waiting for the other to get up and make coffee this morning. — Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) February 14, 2015

12.

Wife: You pick dinner. Me: Pizza. Wife: No. Me: Tacos. Wife: No. Me: Subs. Wife: No. Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Wife: It's up to you. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 22, 2016

13.

Marriage is like coffee. First it's really hot. Then it's just right. Then it helps you get off your ass and do things. — Josh Hara (@yoyoha) February 10, 2016

14.

Marriage Morning Ritual Year One: *kiss*. I love you!
Year Five: Have a great day! *air kiss*
Year Ten: Grunt; stumbles out the door. — Stacey Sordahl (@DrunkAtThePTA) February 25, 2016

15.

Marriage is essentially just having somebody who you can have regular conversations with while one or both of you are stark naked. — lauren robinson (@laurenjoyness) September 15, 2015

 

READ: 10 Funny parenting tweets 

If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them in our Comment box below.

Partner Stories
Xin Cuisine’s Gastronomic Extravaganza & Mooncake Special
Xin Cuisine’s Gastronomic Extravaganza & Mooncake Special
Our VIP Mums Spill the Beans on What Makes Their Night Great!
Our VIP Mums Spill the Beans on What Makes Their Night Great!
Looking to Plan Your Life Out But Not Sure Where to Begin? Lifepedia Has the Answers!
Looking to Plan Your Life Out But Not Sure Where to Begin? Lifepedia Has the Answers!
Family Fun Activities Happening in Monaco This Summer!
Family Fun Activities Happening in Monaco This Summer!

Got a parenting concern? Read articles or ask away and get instant answers on our app. Download theAsianparent Community on iOS or Android now!

img
Written by

Bianchi Mendoza

  • Home
  • /
  • Relationship & Sex
  • /
  • 15 hilarious tweets that all married couples can relate to
Share:
  • 6 Things Married Couples Should Be Doing but Probably Aren't

    6 Things Married Couples Should Be Doing but Probably Aren't

  • Sexting 101 for Married Couples

    Sexting 101 for Married Couples

  • Singaporean Sugar Baby Spills The Beans On What Life Is Like With A Sugar Daddy

    Singaporean Sugar Baby Spills The Beans On What Life Is Like With A Sugar Daddy

  • "It was like a bad movie." Family of 5 Jumps Off From Their Apartment in Switzerland

    "It was like a bad movie." Family of 5 Jumps Off From Their Apartment in Switzerland

app info
get app banner
  • 6 Things Married Couples Should Be Doing but Probably Aren't

    6 Things Married Couples Should Be Doing but Probably Aren't

  • Sexting 101 for Married Couples

    Sexting 101 for Married Couples

  • Singaporean Sugar Baby Spills The Beans On What Life Is Like With A Sugar Daddy

    Singaporean Sugar Baby Spills The Beans On What Life Is Like With A Sugar Daddy

  • "It was like a bad movie." Family of 5 Jumps Off From Their Apartment in Switzerland

    "It was like a bad movie." Family of 5 Jumps Off From Their Apartment in Switzerland

Get advice on your pregnancy and growing baby. Sign up for our newsletter
  • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Education
    • Events
    • Allergies & Conditions
  • Family Occasions
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Child Safety
    • Health
    • Diseases-Injuries
  • Lifestyle
    • Home
    • Money
    • Feeding & Nutrition
    • Diet & Weightloss
  • Normal Delivery
    • Cesarean Delivery
    • Behaviour
    • Secondary School
    • Formula Feeding
  • Ages & Stages
    • Latching & Concerns
    • Festivals & Holidays
    • Education
    • Pre-teen & Teen
  • More
    • TAP Community
    • Advertise With Us
    • Contact Us
    • Become a Contributor


  • Singapore flag Singapore
  • Thailand flag Thailand
  • Indonesia flag Indonesia
  • Philippines flag Philippines
  • Malaysia flag Malaysia
  • Sri-Lanka flag Sri Lanka
  • India flag India
  • Vietnam flag Vietnam
  • Australia flag Australia
  • Japan flag Japan
  • Nigeria flag Nigeria
  • Kenya flag Kenya
© Copyright theAsianparent 2022. All rights reserved
About Us|Team|Privacy Policy|Terms of Use |Sitemap HTML
  • Tools
  • Articles
  • Feed
  • Poll

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

theAsianparent heart icon
We’d like to send you notifications for the latest news and lifestyle updates.