10 habits of happy couples

The words "I do, me too" - words that you uttered during your wedding, mean you will love, respect and honor your spouse through your years together. They also mean you will do what you can to make your marriage successful.

As Henry Ford once said, "Coming together is a beginning, keeping together is progress, working together is success." I’d like to think this applies to the past, present and future of one’s marriage. Let’s focus on the "working together" aspect by looking at the top 10 habits that happy couples usually have:

Date regularly

The key ingredient of a good marriage is to spend quality time with your spouse. Everyone has a busy life so it’s very important to prioritise your couple time. You probably already know your partner quite well by now, including what interests her and what topics you can talk about. So take some time off regularly for a romantic dinner/lunch with her to strengthen your relationship.

Hug each other every day

Today's fast-paced life involves a lot of peering at screens, be it a laptop, tablet or a smartphone, to such an extent that human interaction is drastically reduced. Keep your love for each other aflame by hugging each other tightly at the end of the day. This nurturing gesture helps build a sense of trust and safety, and will make your partner feel appreciated and valued.

Laugh together

It is said that couples who laugh together, stay together. Revisit romantic times from the past and talk about the silly things you both did together. Go over the highlights of your memorable times and laugh at the cute little things you did during your first date, honeymoon, etc. Both of you share a lot of memories and it is always rejuvenating to remember the light moments you experienced together.

Don’t try to change each other

Most couples will probably agree that the earliest reality of marriage is that your partner is imperfect. When you discover your partner has annoying habits, you usually want to try to change him. If this happens, think back for a minute — you liked this person the way he is, right? Rather than fighting to change your partner’s personality, try focusing on his strengths. If you really don’t like what your spouse is doing, think of the things he does that make your heart flutter to help you push away any negative thoughts.

Listen attentively

Even if you are unable to solve whatever issues she may have, just listening to your partner shows her that you care for her. Everyone has bad days at work so it helps when you drop everything to hear her out, and give encouraging comments like, "It’s okay, dear," or "What you did was right," etc. The key is to be supportive.

Fight right

Couples fight for many reasons. A fight may come in when you feel inadequate or when you blame your spouse for something that you feel is wrong. When this happens, don’t get sucked into heated arguments but instead create policy solutions with your partner. Choose your words wisely, for example, using "we language" is better than using "I language". Focus on your love and respect for each other, even when you’re arguing or fighting.

Have your personal space

Having time alone without your spouse is an important component of a happy relationship. When you pursue your own interests, you revitalise yourself. In turn, this helps you bring back so much into your relationship. You will also have more to talk about with your partner, especially if you have different interests. Needless to say, spending time with your friends is also very important.

Talk it out

If you've had a stressful day at work, come home and talk about it with your spouse. Don’t just do this when you’re stressed, of course — you can talk about anything with your partner! When you know that you can open up to each other about anything, your trust in each other deepens.

Go to bed at the same time

During the starting stage of your relationship, you probably couldn't keep your hands off each other. As time progressed though, things may have gotten a little boring. Revive your romance by cuddling up in bed together every night (yes, turn off those mobile phones and other gadgets!) and see the difference it makes. Remember, you can always do what you need to do (like work, read, etc.) after your partner goes to sleep.

Give doses of recognition

A positive word can make anyone’s day. Tell your partner that you appreciate the small things she does. Saying "sorry" or "thank you" doesn't lower your dignity, but brings about more intimacy in your relationship. Plan small sweet surprises to celebrate each other’s successes. It doesn't have to be an expensive gift or something big — even small gestures of appreciation will do wonders for your relationship.

Ramya Hari

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