Getting back your spark and sexual stamina

Make the time

You and your spouse need to make the time to connect again in a sexual way. After all, that’s what brought your family into being in the first place. It’s perfectly alright if those long, sexual interludes are planned if that’s the only way they can happen. In fact, planning and preparing can be part of the excitement and sexual energy you draw from. So drop the kids off with a family member or a trusted friend once a month and either go home or to a motel and let the fun begin.

Pre-plan

Before the ‘big night’ there are a few things you can and should be doing to help you maintain your libido and endurance. None of the following things are difficult or require much time out of your already busy schedule but will bring benefits you and your spouse will both enjoy.

Rethink birth control pills

The pill has been proven to reduce both libido and vaginal secretions. There are other methods, you know. But if you don’t think any of those are for you, have some lubricant at the ready to keep things moving along.

Exercise

Exercise increases circulation throughout the entire body. And circulation is important when it comes to an enhanced sexual experience.

Breathing

Practice breathing slow and steady. Slow, steady breathing slows down climax and makes your lovemaking session longer.

Do kegal exercises

Do the kegal exercises your doctor told you about. They really do tighten your muscles and tighter muscles makes for a more intense sensation.

Increase your libido

Certain herbal supplements have been used for ages to increase a woman’s libido. These include Dong Quai, Siberian Ginseng, Anise, Ginko Bioba and Black Cohosh.
NOTE: It is important that you not take any such supplements if you are breast feeding or on other forms of medication.

Set the mood

You’ll go a long way in setting the mood just by having the kids out of the house. But once that’s been accomplished, you need to set the mood with music, candles, lingerie and possibly even food and drink.

Set some rules

Both of you should agree that there will be no phones in the room, no talk of the kids, nothing that belongs to the kids will be allowed in the room and no talk of work, home repairs or anything else that doesn’t focus solely on the two of you as a couple.

Take it slow

Using the slow breathing you’ve practiced, proceed slowly. Take all the time you want for foreplay. Touch each other, talk to each other romantically, make out like you were teenagers…create the energy.
Don’t be afraid to say what you want and need. It may be different now than pre-baby. Don’t be afraid to pull back to make things last longer.
Once you’re done, take the time to cuddle and enjoy the feeling of just being in love. Talk. Don’t talk. Make out some more or not-it doesn’t really matter. Just do what makes you both feel good.

Don’t stress if it’s not all you imagined it to be

The candlelight, music, romance and sexy lingerie are great-and shouldn’t be discounted. But none of those are a guarantee for climactic sex. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen for women all the time. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t totally into it, completely and madly in love and have a wonderful experience.
Enjoy your love making for what it is-making love to the love of your life and father of your children…without the worries of the little darlings coming into the room.

Written by

Darla Noble

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