It’s never easy for a parent to raise a child alone, but that doesn’t mean that the experience of being a single parent will not be worth it in the end. Sometimes, it turns out even to be a blessing. In her Rebel Circus article, one mother writes a candid letter to the father who walked out on them, telling him the many things he will never get to experience.
To the father who walked out on my child...
Missing out
“You missed out on a great kid. You will miss out on birthdays, graduations, first dates, and watching our kid turn into the amazing adult they are destined to become, with or without you.”
Teach
“I won’t teach them to hate you, but I’ll let them make their own assumptions about you. Chances are, they won’t feel so fondly about you once they realize how truly disgusting your actions have been.”
Proud
“I’m proud of the child they are growing up to be, and even more proud of myself for being able to do it on my own. I had my doubts at first, but now I see that this has truly just made me a better parent for our child.”
Guilt
“I stay up at night sometimes, wondering if you ever feel guilty for what you left behind. I wonder if you think about the last words you said to us before leaving, and how you didn’t have the heart to say goodbye.”
Respect
“I don’t hate you because you gave me a beautiful child, but I have lost all respect for you. Our child looks so much like you, and it kills me every time she shows a side of her personality that is so much like yours.”
Man
“I hope you don’t consider yourself a real man, because real men don’t walk out on their families. You walked out on the most important responsibility of your life, without any regrets.”
Father’s Day
“Father’s Day is always rough for us, but we manage to get through it by celebrating all the other wonderful father figures in our child’s life. Luckily for our child, there are plenty of people in our family that are more than willing and happy to fill your void.”
Hope
“Explaining to our kids why you’re never coming back has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. There isn’t a more heartbreaking sight than watching all the hope in your child’s eyes disappear after years of waiting and wishing that you would eventually come home, but finally realizing that you never will.”
Blame
“I no longer place the blame on myself for you leaving. I don’t see it as anything that I did wrong. You were simply a coward who didn’t have the courage to stick out the tough times. Yes, things were hard in the beginning, but things are much better now, and I only feel sorry for you because you’re missing out.”
Parent
“Our child will grow up learning how to be a great parent, all because you taught them everything they shouldn’t do. You set a perfect example for all the things she will never grow up to be.
Tears
"I’ve stopped agonising over you, because you don’t deserve these tears. Crying over you is like letting you win, and I’ve decided that you will no longer have control over my life.
Perspective
"I’ve tried to put myself in your shoes, and to see things from your perspective, but no matter how hard I try, I can never justify a reason for your departure. Nothing you say will ever excuse your actions.
Future
"I hope for your future family’s sake, you don’t do the same thing to them that you did to us. While you don’t deserve the happiness that a family can bring you, no one else deserves the pain you’ve left us with.”
Roles
“Having to take on the role of two parents isn’t easy, but I’m trying my best, and I know that one day, our child will see how hard I worked to give her the best life I possible could.”
Strong
“Lastly, I hope that one day you look back on your life, and you realise how much you gave up. I hope you realise that despite the hurt you caused us, we will move on and be stronger for it in the end. So thank you, thank you for teaching us how strong we can truly be on our own.”
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