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Why Family Estrangement Happens and How to Heal

4 min read
Why Family Estrangement Happens and How to Heal

Is family estrangement tearing you apart? Discover why it happens and how to reconnect with your loved ones!

Family estrangement is a distressing and often misunderstood phenomenon. Family estrangement involves a family member cutting off all contact with relatives, leading to significant emotional pain. This issue is complex and frequently influenced by undue influence from external parties.

 

The Role of Undue Influence

Undue influence plays a critical role in family estrangement. Cults, unethical therapists, and abusive partners often employ this tactic. They persuade individuals to sever ties with their support systems, increasing their control over the person. For instance, destructive groups or individuals convince victims to believe that their family is the root of their problems. This manipulation isolates the person, making them more dependent on the manipulator.

 

Personal Experience with Estrangement

Divorce. Asian couples are desperate and disappointed after marriage. Husband and wife are sad, upset and frustrated after quarrels. distrust, love problems, betrayals. family problem, teenage love Divorce. Asian couples are desperate and disappointed after marriage. Husband and wife are sad, upset and frustrated after quarrels. distrust, love problems, betrayals. family problem, teenage love asian family not talking stock pictures, royalty-free photos & images

Image from iStock

Many people, including experts, have experienced family estrangement. For instance, one individual recounted their time as a member of the Moonies cult. They were taught to view their family as evil and to limit contact with them. This manipulation led them to believe they had a terrible childhood, which was far from the truth. After deprogramming, they learned from family friends that their childhood was happy and loving.

 

The Impact of Psychological Manipulation

Psychological manipulation is a common cause of family estrangement. When someone is told by an authority figure that their family is the root of their problems, it can lead to a break in familial relationships. This manipulation can be subtle yet powerful, resulting in a person being completely under the control of the manipulator. Predatory people and systems often use this tactic to isolate their victims, ensuring they have no one else to turn to for support.

 

Risky Therapeutic Practices

Certain therapeutic practices, like hypnosis and recovered memory techniques, can also contribute to family estrangement. These methods can lead to false memories of abuse, resulting in wrongful accusations and further estrangement. Psychologist Michael Yapko, in his book “Suggestions of Abuse,” highlights the dangers of suggestive therapies. These practices can cause significant harm, especially when performed by untrained or unethical therapists.

 

Recognising Red Flags

A sudden decision to cut off all family and friends, especially at the direction of a third party, should raise red flags. This behaviour often indicates undue influence. It’s crucial to question whether the estrangement was a personal decision or the result of manipulation by others. Those experiencing family estrangement should consider the possibility of undue influence and seek clarity on their situation.

 

The Path to Reconnection

close-up of an elderly persons hand holding wife hand. Symbol of compassion and solidarityCloseup of a support hands. Closeup shot of a senior woman holding a senior mans hands in comfort. close-up of an elderly persons hand holding wife hand. Symbol of compassion and solidarityCloseup of a support hands. Closeup shot of a senior woman holding a senior mans hands in comfort. asian family not talking stock pictures, royalty-free photos & images

Image from iStock

For those who have been estranged from their families, there is hope. Love can be stronger than mind control. If individuals suspect undue influence, honest self-reflection is essential. They should consider whether the estrangement was truly their idea or influenced by someone with ulterior motives. Reconnecting with family members can be a challenging but rewarding process.

 

Seeking Professional Help

A good therapist knowledgeable about undue influence can facilitate reconnection with estranged family members. They can help navigate the complexities of the situation and support individuals in rebuilding relationships. Family estrangement is a painful and complex issue. Understanding the role of undue influence is crucial in addressing and overcoming it. By recognising the signs of manipulation and seeking professional help, there is a path to healing and reconnection.

In conclusion, family estrangement often involves undue influence and manipulation. By becoming aware of these factors, individuals can take steps to reconnect with their loved ones and heal from the emotional pain caused by estrangement.

 

 
Psychology Today

ALSO READ: 

Plugged-in Parenting: Being Glued to Your Mobile Phone is Hurting Your Family

Discover the Best Counseling Options for Therapy in Singapore

7 Couples Therapy Exercises That Can Bring Spark Back Into Your Marriage

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Written by

Matt Doctor

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