8 easy ways to be a better parent

Nobody said that parenting was going to be easy, but you never expected it to be this tough! To all the mums and dads who are hanging on by a thread, take a deep breath and read through our easy tips on how to be a better parent to your little ones.

8 easy ways to be a better parent

The minute your baby made her grand debut into this world, your whole life was turned upside down and inside out!

Parenthood has been one roller coaster of a ride so far and sometimes you wonder if you're doing a good job at all.

Don't worry, because just by worrying about whether you're doing enough for your child already goes to show how much you truly care.

No matter how seasoned you are as a mum or dad, and regardless of how many kids you have, all parents can still learn a new thing or two everyday about one of the toughest jobs in the world - being a parent!

1. Slow down and be patient

Parents always seem to be in a rush to go somewhere (yet we still a little late anyway) and we probably say "Hurry up!" at least 10 times a day - but where exactly are we running off to?

A five minute walk to the bus stop takes double the amount of time now that you have a little one in tow, because they insist on stopping to watch some pigeons pecking at the ground, or they just had to pick up that large green leaf that fell on the sidewalk.

Although these little detours might make you miss your bus, you can always catch the next one, but it is important to nurture your child's curiosity as this is the fuel of development.

2. Listen to the little things

Catherine M. Wallace, author of Motherhood in the Balance, advises parents to, "Listen earnestly to anything [your children] want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff."

Kids are always eager to share all their thoughts and observations with their parents, but if mum and dad are always too busy to hear what they have to say, then you may face communication problems.

So just by listening to your child when they are trying to tell you something, this will actually improve your bond with her, encourages her to also listen to you, helps her to form relationships with others in future, and to build her self-esteem.

3. Play together

Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., a psychologist, play therapist and author of Playful Parenting believes that play allows parents to enter a child’s world, on the child’s terms, to build closeness, confidence and connection.

"Playing is how children show themselves to us. It’s also a way to be close and to reconnect after closeness has been severed [by an argument or conflict]. The more we join them in their world, the more cooperative they will be when we drag them along to ours", she says.

It doesn't really matter what game or which toys exactly you are playing with him, all he wants is your undivided attention, time and interaction.

4. Bond through daily caregiving

Even if you have a domestic helper, you should still make an effort to do all those little everyday tasks that involve providing care to your child, even though it may seem menial or trivial.

Bath time is a great way to boost the bond with your baby or young child and other day-to-day acts of feeding, diapering or creating activities are critical to the mother-child connection, so parents should make the extra effort to take over such tasks.

Brian Yeo, a consultant psychiatrist at Mount Elizabeth Medical Centre, feels that children may grow very attached to their domestic helper.

"The child may take on the mannerisms or the language of the maid. They may be more close to the maid than the parent", he says.

5. Say "I love you"

Although actions may speak louder than words, it's nice to actually hear how someone feels about you, that's why it is important to share these three little words with your kids.

Paula Hall, relationships expert at Relate, explains, "It's essential to say it – we tend to assume people know we love them from the way we treat them but it's not always true and we sometimes find out later in life."

She also shares that saying "I love you" makes a big difference because as a child you learn how to express your feelings ready for your own relationships later on.

6. Give respect to get respect

We have always been told to respect our elders, but respect is a two-way street, so if you expect your child to respect you, then they should also be given some respect in return.

But how exactly do you show respect for your child? Simple - by discussing her feelings and beliefs and acknowledging that they are valid; helping her improve her critical thinking skills and empathy by discussing other people's perspectives on the same issues; and by respecting who she is as a person.

Respect doesn't mean that you agree with everything she says or that you would have to let her make all her own choices or decisions, because kids are kids after all and still need your help and guidance.

7. Take care of yourself first

If you are facing an emergency in an airplane, you are advised to put on your own oxygen mask before helping your child with theirs - because how can you take care of your kids if your own needs are not met?

Dr. Shaelyn Pham a licensed psychologist, speaker, consultant and author of the new book, The Joy of Me, says, "When you take care of yourself first, your needs are met and when you give, you can truly give unconditionally without any strings attached."

You might feel a little guilty or that you are being selfish for not putting your child first at all times, but it is also important for you to get some "me time" so that you are happy and recharged.

8. See the world through their eyes

Imagine that you are a tourist in a completely new country which you have never been to or even heard of before.

You know absolutely nothing about this foreign land, cannot speak the native language, are unaware of their customs and traditions, and don't know how to navigate your way around.

There are two local guides with you to help translate everything so that you can understand; show you points of interest so you can soak in the culture; tell you which foods are safe to eat so you can nourish yourself; bring you around so you don't get lost; and teach you their way of living so you don't offend anyone and can fit in.

That is exactly how a child sees life - something completely foreign to them, because, well, it is!

Your tiny preschooler has only been on this earth for four years (probably an even shorter time than your pet cat!), so everything is new and amazing or scary to them.

You as their parents are their personal tourguides of this planet and on how to be a human being, so remember to see the world through their eyes.

What do you think of our tips on how to be a better parent? By following these 8 easy steps, will it help you form a stronger bond with your child? Share your thoughts with us below.

Dew M. Chaiyanara

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