If you’re a first-time mother, you may be excited to buy all the adorable clothes to dress your baby up and snap photos for the ‘Gram.
Local influencer Bong Qiu Qiu however advised against it, citing from her experience as a mother of three children, Meredith, eight, Amelia, six, and Oliver, four, with her husband Josh.
She went on Instagram yesterday (Oct 24) to share four lessons she learned from motherhood.
‘Babies don’t need expensive stuff’
“Don’t waste so much money on toys, clothings or decor for the nursery. Babies don’t know, don’t care… If I had saved all that money as an investment for them (her kids), I think they would thank me more in the future,” the 36-year-old wrote.
She attached a video filled with baby photos of her firstborn, adding how she had “so much fun” dressing her up but would probably not spend that much on baby clothes again.
“The pictures are cute but I definitely spent too much on firstborn’s clothes and accessories.”
Back then, Qiu Qiu even set up the playroom herself through DIY to make the space baby-friendly and aesthetically pleasing.
Though she found the investment to be worth it as they “spent a lot of time” there, she felt that buying overpriced accessories like an $89 cot mobile was unnecessary as “babies don’t need expensive stuff”.
“I was so obsessed with making the perfect room for the baby but in actual fact, we mainly used the foam floor and sofa only,” she admitted.
She also recalled travelling for work and spending even more on “cute and useless” items for Meredith, which she ended up regretting.
‘Remember to at least put yourself second’
Qiu Qiu then brought up the importance of taking care of yourself when you’re a mother: “Other than being a mother to my baby, I am also a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend and importantly… I am still myself. I must take good care of myself before I can take care of my baby.”
She recalled she was depressed and in pain physically and mentally due to breastfeeding, and stopped after one month.
“Don’t stone me but it was the best decision I made for my sanity,” the caption on her video read.
She added in her post: “Breastfeeding gave me depression to the point when I cut it, that was the start of me enjoying motherhood. Don’t ever judge another mother who doesn’t or cannot breastfeed.”
“As much as everything about the baby matters, you matter too. Remember to at least put yourself second,” she also emphasised.
‘It is normal to have the body you have’
While it’s normal to be “out of shape” after pregnancy, Qiu Qiu recalled how her size affected the way she saw herself, and urged new mothers to “take it easy” on themselves.
“A full human life just came out of you, it is normal to have the body you have. Embrace it, get fit if you want to, when you are ready.
“Enjoy the ups and downs of motherhood. The love you extend to everyone, I hope you extend that love to yourself.”
‘It’s a losing battle’
Concluding, Qiu Qiu talked about a more lighthearted point: “Don’t bother to colour-coordinate your kids’ clothings with your house decor…
“It’s a losing battle. I realised it when my dad bought a Pikachu light-up T-shirt for Meredith and when Meredith herself started to ask me to buy Frozen Elsa shoes.”
This article was first published on AsiaOne and republished on theAsianparent with permission.
