Dealing with the In-Laws
Dealing with the In-Laws
If you feel like your spouse's family is doing more harm to your relationship than good, it's time to take the situation into your own hands. We help you smooth out all the crinkles that just won't go away.
1. Address the issue
Sit down and think about what might be upsetting you and where you think the core of the issue lies. Even if you are upset, think about this and get a clear idea of how you feel in your head, but do not act on anything or talk to your spouse yet. After this, take some time to cool down. Do something you love, even if it’s just listening to a song that makes you happy or taking a nice shower. Once you are more relaxed, think about why you are upset again, but this time do it as an outsider to the situation. It is important not to judge yourself or anyone else but just replay whatever is upsetting you and look at it from an outsiders point of view. This is often easier said than done, but once you master this, re-evaluate the reasons behind the situation. If it is the same as before it’s time for step number three. If not read on…
Be the bigger person. Even if you feel you are being mistreated, making the first move will only make things better. If you are uncomfortable find a common hobby and try and spend more time with your spouse’s family, but doing something you all enjoy. This might bring you closer together and help erase any awkwardness. Don’t be over-friendly or try too hard. Both are completely transparent and will leave your in-laws with something to snicker over. Try and gain their respect instead. Work on things you love, and excel in them. This will improve you, your relationship with your partner and with your in-laws.
3. Switch shoes
The best way to fix the situation if it doesn't seem to go away is by putting yourself in other peoples shoes. This always fixes situations and if not, it gives you a better understanding of why people react a certain way. In turn this will help you alter your actions to make the situation better.
4. Talk it out
If things really aren't getting any better or you feel like you are being taken advantage of and are worried for your marriage, talking to your spouse is important. Be careful about how you choose your words and what points you bring up. Remember that you are talking about the people that brought your partner into the world, and just as you care for your kids, they care for your spouse. This doesn't mean they will treat you right though, so it is important to bring it up. As long as you deal with the situation well, your spouse is bound to try and fix it.
5. Baby love
This might sound bad, but using the kids as bait is a great way to get your spouse's folks to bond with you better. All grandparents love their grandchildren, so planning fun activities, taking them over to spend more time and updating them on what the kids have been up to score big brownie points.
Once you win your In-Laws over, your marriage should automatically improve. Do you have tips that could help improve your relationship with your partners parents?