Overcome these common obstacles to start dating after divorce
Starting afresh after a separation can be tough. These tips may help you to begin dating after divorce.
Not all marriages end in a happily ever after. At times, separation is inevitable. But does that mean you should close your heart to love forever? Definitely not! Dating after divorce is possible if you can triumph over fears that mostly come from an unhappy relationship.
Common inhibitions that you must overcome to start dating after divorce:
1. Fear of rejection
After going through a tough relationship, it is natural for you to feel afraid of being rejected. It is hard to shake off memories of rejection from your previous relationships. Meanwhile, putting yourself out there in the world of dating may seem like a huge risk.
Remember that a little risk is unavoidable to achieve awesome things. So, go slowly if you need to, but forge ahead and put your best foot forward.
Get on a dating site if you are comfortable finding love online. There are also others ways to meet new people, like going to parties or clubs. But getting out of your comfort zone is a must.
2. Losing faith
The biggest setback many people face after a divorce is losing faith in love and life. A painful fallout can make it hard for you to believe in the existence of romantic love. It can feel impossible to hope that you can once again have romance in your life. Don’t be so tough on yourself and just remember that faith can move mountains.
Read and watch things that reinforce a positive feeling about your life. Self-help books or motivational videos might just do the trick. Make sure that you are surrounded by people who help you believe in love once again.
3. Wanting to avoid fights
You may feel that you can never forget the nasty fights, or get over the isolation that has cast a shadow on your heart after a divorce. But you can change that with a bit of understanding from your end. Although fights and arguments can be an unavoidable part of relationships, they do not always signal the end of the relationship.
Understand that two people can have different views of the same thing. Once you are able to accept this, fights can turn into healthy conversations or respectful debates that offer you a whole new perspective.
4. Lacking confidence
A divorce may dim your light, but make sure that it doesn’t go out. You may feel like you are not good enough for anyone anymore. Assure yourself that that’s not the case. Don’t lose the spark inside you. Remember, confidence can be more desirable than even looks.
Pull out your favourite dress from the wardrobe and dress up. While you’re at it, put on some makeup. The change you feel will do wonders. Most importantly, stand tall and strong in your power. Do things that boost your confidence, whether at home or at work.
5. Inability to trust someone
One of the most crucial things for dating after divorce is trust. It can be difficult to trust a new person, especially if you’ve faced cheating in your previous relationships. But it is important to start with a clean slate and make an effort to keep any doubts at bay.
Maintain transparency in your new relationship. Also make it clear to the other person that you appreciate honesty and integrity. At the same time, avoid doubting every action the person makes.
6. Feeling a sense of vulnerability
It is natural to feel emotionally exposed after a difficult relationship. But it is equally important to remember that the right person will understand you. They won’t take advantage of your vulnerability. Allow some time to pass in your new relationship before you share your deepest feelings with them.
Get comfortable in your new relationship before you share your fears or deep emotions with your partner. At the same time, make an effort to ensure them that they won’t have to carry your emotional baggage. Even when recounting the trials that you went through, show them that you are capable of handling it yourself. Of course, support from their end is always welcome.
7. Feeling undesirable
Sexy can mean different things to different people. You never know what quality you possess may appeal to another person. It could be anything from your looks to your attitude to your personality. Although you may be scared that you’ve lost your sex appeal, that is far from true.
Let your new relationship take its natural course. You will eventually know whether this one is for keeps or not.
Open yourself up to the idea of dating after divorce. As painful as separation might be, it is not the end of your life. There is always hope for something new to take root, thrive and offer the hope of a new life, despite a difficult past.
Source: Pop Sugar