Chow Yun Fat's wife reveals the heartbreak of losing her baby, "Why me?"
Chow Yun Fat's wife Jasmine Tan reveals how she was gripped by grief on losing her baby to stillbirth...
It was a rainy day in 1992, and Chow Yun Fat and his wife, Jasmine Tan (who is Singaporean), were expecting their first baby after more than 5 years of marriage.
The baby was due in a week’s time.
Little did they know their lives would be gripped by tragedy, and changed forever…
Losing my baby
In a rare interview with Apple Daily, Jasmine Tan, now 57, finally opens up about the tragedy that shook her life.
Apparently, that night in 1992, the baby wasn’t as active as usual. Jasmine remembers asking Chow, “Why is our daughter so well-behaved today? She isn’t kicking my belly.”
“It was only one week from the expected date of birth.”
The couple decided to consult their doctor the very next day. It was a rainy, rainy day, and Jasmine remembers wading through knee high water with Chow to reach the clinic.
The doctor offered no hope, “The doctor didn’t tell me much, only saying: ‘You have to be admitted to hospital.’ I saw the doctor’s expression, something seemed to be a little wrong, but I didn’t know what it was.”
They rushed to St Teresa’s Hospital, and Jasmine recalls praying for her little one. It was too late though.
A scan revealed that the baby had been strangled by the umbilical cord. The doctor asked Chow, “Would you rather talk to your wife yourself?”
The doctor and nurses were all sad for Jasmine and did not want her to bear the pain of pushing out the stillborn baby. Chow apparently told her, “The doctor says, let’s have surgery.”
Jasmine remained brave, and as she tells Apple Daily, “I said, ‘In any case, I have to go through the process, I’ve carried her for so long.'”
Apparently, a worried Chow wanted to spare Jasmine the heartbreak of seeing the stillborn baby. But Jasmine was adamant. She wanted to see her daughter for the first and last time.
“I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t cry, I didn’t cry.” she said.
The only words that kept playing inside her head were, “Why me?”
My loving husband
We all know what a loving, caring relationship Chow and Jasmine share, but what Chow did then for his wife is just beautiful…
“He stayed at my bedside for five continuous days. He didn’t go home and he didn’t shave. We slept together in the same hospital bed, “Jasmine once told The Straits Times.
It took her seven long years to get over the pain of losing her baby, and Jasmine shares, “Why did this happen to me? I didn’t understand the reason until seven years later, or even later.”
The couple have been married for 31 years, but remain childless.
Apparently, Chow couldn’t bear to see his wife go through any more pain and complications during pregnancy, so he decided that they would not have any more children.
But as Jasmine poignantly reveals, “Till today, I still think about our daughter.”
Chow and Jasmine have since then devoted their life to charitable purposes, and often make private donations.
Says Jasmine,”My daughter has died. The love that I have [for her] is something I’m not able to give her anymore. But it is something that I can give to others.”
The couple are also known to lead a very frugal lifestyle in Hong Kong. They are often seen using public transport and shopping from local markets.
Chow once declared that he would donate all his fortune to charity after his death, “I feel that the money does not really belong to me. I am just in charge of keeping it temporarily! I will definitely donate it all! I will give it to charities that need it the most.”
Wife Jasmine has only words of love and praise for her husband. Last year on her birthday, she had said, “Actually, the best present that the heavens have given me is Chow Yun-fat and I hope that I can be his wife again in my next life.”