Recent studies reveal that we parents aren’t as attuned to our child’s mental issues as we thought we are. So it’s time to be more aware when they are indeed struggling with their mental health. Let’s start with learning about childhood stress indicators and spotting them in our children.
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Is Your Child Stressed Out?
Stephen did not go to school today. He woke up feeling fine. However as he was getting ready to go to school, he was dragging his feet, looking a bit reluctant. An hour before school time, he developed a stomach ache. Mrs Chen took a family care leave and rushed to their GP, Dr Loke. However, Dr Loke could not find any cause for it.
This was not the first time Stephen developed an ‘ache’ right at the time of going to school. In fact, he had missed school 3 times in the last 4 months. His parents were worried. The only good thing was that he was eating well. He even looked a bit happier on weekends, when he did not have to go to school.
Does this scenario sound so familiar? Then it might have happened or still happening to your child too. But why?
Unknown to Mrs Chen, and to the suspicion of Dr Loke, Stephen had developed an anxiety about going to school, like a lot of children his age.
Childhood anxiety is on the rise and this is not a good sign. Research shows that children who have undergone a stressful childhood often end up having a tough adulthood1. To understand this anxiety and the stress associated with it, it is important to understand the factors that can cause kids like Stephen to be stressed at this tender age.
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Common Causes of Stress in Children
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Performance-related stress
In highly competitive environments like Singapore, academic achievements hold significant importance. When a child struggles with understanding a subject or lacks the confidence to seek help, they may fall behind their peers. This can lead to feelings of stress and anxiety as they perceive themselves as lagging behind academically.
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Fear of feedback
Children often seek validation, particularly from their parents. When parents have high expectations that the child may struggle to meet, it can create stress. While a moderate amount of pressure can boost performance, sustained and overwhelming stress can have adverse effects on a child’s well-being.
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Vicarious pressures
Parents strive to shield their children from their own pressures, but some stressors, such as financial concerns, can be challenging to hide. Children may experience vicarious stress, feeling anxious and overwhelmed due to their parents’ worries about matters beyond their control.
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Social pressures
Peer dynamics, fitting in, and the fear of rejection can be significant stressors for children. The desire to be accepted by their peers and the pressure to conform to societal expectations can cause emotional strain and stress.
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Over-scheduling and high expectations
In today’s fast-paced world, children often face the pressure of juggling numerous activities and meeting high expectations. Over-scheduling and the constant need to excel in various domains can lead to stress and burnout.
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Family conflicts
Disagreements, separations, or conflicts within the family can create a stressful environment for children. Witnessing or being directly involved in family disputes can cause emotional turmoil and impact their overall well-being.
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Transitions and changes
Significant life events such as moving to a new school, a divorce, or the arrival of a new sibling can induce stress in children. Adjusting to unfamiliar situations and adapting to change can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of anxiety and stress.
Childhood Stress Indicators
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Childhood stress indicators are signs or behaviours that can suggest a child is experiencing stress or feeling overwhelmed. These indicators can vary from child to child, but can manifest through physical symptoms or changes in their temperament or behaviour.
It’s crucial to pay attention to these indicators because childhood stress can have long-term effects on a child’s well-being and development.
Childhood Stress Indicators: Physical
Childhood stress can manifest in various ways, and physical indicators are one of the ways children may exhibit signs of stress. Paying attention to these physical stress indicators can help us identify when children may be experiencing stress and take appropriate measures to support their well-being. Here are some common physical signs that may indicate childhood stress:
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Frequent headaches
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Stomachaches or digestive issues
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Changes in appetite (eating more or less)
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Difficulty sleeping or changes in sleep patterns
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Fatigue or low energy levels
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Physical complaints without apparent medical cause
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Increased susceptibility to illness or frequent illnesses
Childhood Stress Indicators: Social or Behavioural
When children experience stress, it can manifest in various emotional and behavioural changes. By identifying these indicators, we can provide the necessary support and intervention. Here are some common emotional or behavioural signs that may indicate childhood stress:
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Increased irritability or anger
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Excessive worrying or anxiety
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Changes in mood or emotional instability
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Difficulty concentrating or declining academic performance
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Withdrawal from social activities or friends
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Regression to earlier behaviours (e.g., bedwetting)
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Changes in appetite or eating habits
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How to Help Your Stressed-Out Child: Simple Steps for Supportive Parents
Seeing our children stressed can be tough as parents, but there are many ways we can offer support and help them navigate through challenging times. By understanding their stress and providing a nurturing environment, we can help our kids develop resilience and healthy coping mechanisms.
Here are some simple steps you can take to support your stressed-out child:
1. Create a safe space for open communication.
Encourage your child to express their feelings without judgment and assure them that you are there to listen and understand.
2. Listen actively and validate their feelings.
Show empathy and understanding, acknowledging their emotions and letting them know it’s okay to feel the way they do.
3. Teach and encourage relaxation techniques.
Introduce calming activities like deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, or guided imagery to help them relax and reduce anxiety.
4. Foster a balanced routine and healthy lifestyle habits.
Establish consistent routines for meals, sleep, and activities to provide structure and stability.
5. Encourage regular physical activity and playtime
Engage in fun physical activities together or encourage them to participate in sports or hobbies that promote exercise and enjoyment.
6. Promote healthy sleep habits.
Ensure your child gets sufficient sleep by establishing a consistent bedtime routine and creating a calm sleep environment.
7. Help them build strong social connections.
Encourage opportunities for social interaction with peers, family, or supportive community groups to foster a sense of belonging and support.
8. Set realistic expectations and celebrate small victories.
Help your child set achievable goals and recognize their efforts and progress along the way.
9. Teach problem-solving skills and positive self-talk
Guide them in developing problem-solving strategies and promoting positive self-talk to manage challenges effectively.
10. Seek professional help if needed.
If your child’s stress persists or intensifies, don’t hesitate to reach out to a paediatrician, therapist, or counsellor for additional support and guidance.
Remember, each child is unique, and it’s important to tailor your approach to their individual needs. With your love, support, and patience, you can make a significant difference in helping your child navigate and overcome stress.
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Here at theAsianparent Singapore, it’s important for us to give information that is correct, significant, and timely. But this doesn’t serve as an alternative for medical advice or medical treatment. theAsianparent Singapore is not responsible for those that would choose to drink medicines based on information from our website. If you have any doubts, we recommend consulting your doctor for clearer information.