According to Megan Shauri of Family Share, with a plethora of parenting rules, and countless dos and don’ts when it comes to raising children, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and confused. However, here are four things you should not do for you children if you want them to grow up to be independent adults.
1. Make excuses for their behaviour
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You may feel embarrassed or even ashamed to admit that your child is having a tantrum because it’s too silly a reason, but claiming it as a something it isn’t—that they’re tired, say, or hungry—is making an excuse for the negative behaviour.
“It just enables him to continue the behaviour without any consequences,” says Megan. “Even if your child is older, they may need to feel embarrassed because of their behaviour in order to understand that it is not acceptable to act that way.”
2. Doing their work for them
This may accomplish the task at hand, but in the long run, it accomplishes nothing in teaching your children diligence and the principle of hard work. It’s all right to help them with their tasks, but doing most of it for them doesn’t help.
“It may be easier to do it yourself, but it is more important to have her do it. She will learn skills she will need for her whole life in those few hours it takes you to teach her. Be patient and remember how important these moments really are.”
3. Underestimating them
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“Sometimes we may feel our kids are not ready for something because of their age or ability, but if you don’t let them try, you will never know,” Megan argues. “They may surprise you.”
If you always protect your children from venturing out and doing something you think they’re not yet ready or simply can’t do, they won’t grow and develop their sense of self-reliance.
4. Giving them what they want
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If they receive the things they want the instant they demand for it, they will never learn the value of things. They will grow up without the ability to appreciate things.
“Make them do chores, make them work for things, and make them wait for things,” Megan says. “Teach them patience and help them enjoy anticipating something.”
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