How to stop shouting at kids - 10 Ways to cool down and stop yelling

How to stay in control and not lose your temper when disciplining your child? Here is how to stop shouting at kids...

How to calm yourself down

Most parents constantly struggle with trying to stay in control and not lose their cool. However, in most cases this can be a losing battle, when we are not equipped mentally or physically to do so. Perhaps taking the time to understand what and why we usually have a short fuse, when it comes to our children, would be worth exploring both for their sake and for ours. The following are some tips that could prove to be helpful in stopping the yelling tendency...

Recognise the common signs of anger

Recognising the anger signals within ourselves would be a good place to start. The more common signs would usually include some form of tightness in the chest area, negative thoughts running through our mind, raised voices of the parties involved, clenching of teeth and fists and sweating.

Once you are able to identify with any of these signals, it would be easier to start some preemptive control exercises or give yourself a parental time-out.

There is no use yelling

Making your kids understand why or what is making you upset would be better than simply yelling for them to stop. Sometimes children simply do not understand why you are making such a fuss and taking the time to explain will help them learn boundaries.

Slow down your outbursts

Taking measures to slow down your outbursts, such as understanding the situation at hand or counting to twenty will allow your mind to process pertinent information before flying into a rage. This process helps to slow down the stages to anger significantly.

Be less sensitive

Learning to be less sensitive and regimented about everything is an exercise that should be actively practised as often as possible. Most of us tend to get angry when things do not go our way and our kids have probably learnt this trait too.

Take a deep breath

Launching into a set of deep breathing exercises is also another way to keep from yelling. It is physically impossible to yell while breathing deeply.

Look them in the eye

Looking at your child squarely in the face, eyeball to eyeball, often has a strangely "calming" effect that will allow you to decrease your volume considerably. Perhaps subconsciously we do not want to rupture their little eardrums.

Whisper

This is odd - but we have tried it ourselves and it really does work. Next time you want your kid to stop doing something, try to whisper it to them instead. Chances are that if your child has to strain to hear you, he's more likely to pay attention.

Chanting

Find phrase to remind yourself that your child isn't purposely trying to drive you up the wall. One example is "She's only two, she's only two,". Keep chanting it till you feel calmed down.

Set some rules for your child

If a particular behavior is causing you to yell, set some rules to help your child avoid such behavior patterns. Ensure you are clear with the consequences of disregarding the rules and dispense the promised punishment calmly and quickly.

Put yourself in their shoes

Putting yourself in their position is sometimes the fastest way to quell your desire to yell. This is especially effective when the child is very young and unable to understand the magnitude of their folly.

Sleep well

Good eating and sleeping habits for both you and your child will help in being better adjusted mentally, in most situations. The tendency to be calmer and more rational especially for you as an adult will be quite evident if you are well rested.

Close an eye

Understanding and accepting that you are not perfect will allow you to put less pressure on yourself and your child. Sometimes simply letting go or closing an eye is better than getting all worked up and becoming a yelling shrew.

Get support

Enlist the help of your spouse or your friends, to stop you from yelling. There is nothing to be ashamed - all of us scream at some point. Your spouse can step in and help out next time you get into a flying rage with your kids.

Sandra Ong

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