Training And Supporting Your Domestic Helper

Check out this list of enrichment classes recommended for your domestic helper!

Most guides on this subject are written from the position that the problem is the helper. Usually it isn’t. It’s that an adult has arrived in a country she doesn’t know, into a household whose expectations nobody has written down, and has been asked to run it.

The most common cause of “she can’t do anything right” is unstated expectations, not ability.

Many domestic workers arrive with qualifications, and some with degrees. What they don’t have is your recipes, your standards, your routines and your vocabulary for them.

Start with communication

Before any course, fix this, because it resolves most of what gets blamed on skill.

Write it down. A simple written routine, what happens, in what order, on which days, removes an enormous amount of friction. Print it and put it up.
Demonstrate once, then watch her do it once. Telling alone is the least effective way.
Check understanding by asking her to explain it back, not by asking “do you understand?”, which almost always gets a yes.
Be specific. “Clean the kitchen” means different things to different people. “Wipe the counters, sweep, mop, take the bin out” doesn’t.
Correct privately and calmly, and not in front of your children, who will copy exactly how you speak to her.
Give it three months. Most placements that feel like disasters in week two are fine by month four.
Ask what she already knows how to do. Frequently more than assumed, and nobody has asked.

Courses to pay for

Singapore has a real training infrastructure for domestic workers, and it’s underused.

The Settling-In Programme is mandatory for first-time migrant domestic workers and covers safety, conditions of employment and adapting to Singapore.
The Employers’ Orientation Programme is mandatory for first-time employers, and take it seriously instead of clicking through. A large share of disputes come from employers not knowing the rules.
Infant care and childcare courses, if she’ll be looking after a baby. Do this before she starts those duties, not after something goes wrong.
First aid and infant CPR. If she cares for your child, this is the highest-value course on the list by a wide margin, and the one most families skip.
Eldercare training, if she’s caring for a parent, a specialised job that people assume needs no preparation.
Cooking classes, which is what most employers want. Reasonable to arrange, and better received if framed as learning your family’s dishes than as fixing her cooking.
Language classes, which agencies and organisations such as FAST and the Centre for Domestic Employees run.

The employer pays. If a course happens on her rest day, that day should be voluntary and compensated, or given back.

The things that aren’t optional

Window cleaning. A migrant domestic worker mustn’t clean the exterior of any window above the ground floor unless grilles are installed and locked, and you or an adult representative supervises. People have died. This rule exists for a reason and it isn’t negotiable.

A weekly rest day, and at least one rest day each month that can’t be compensated away.
Her passport and work permit are hers. Employers mustn’t retain them.
Salary paid on time, within the required period, with a record kept.
Adequate food, and enough of it. Not leftovers by default.
A safe, private space to sleep, with adequate ventilation and privacy.
Medical care and the required insurance, paid by you.
Access to her phone and to communication with her family. Confiscating it’s a control practice, not a management tool.
Adequate rest. A worker who’s on call from 6am to midnight isn’t resting, whatever the paperwork says.

Rules change; check the current requirements on the Ministry of Manpower website instead of relying on what an agency said three years ago.

She’s part of your child’s life

Our readers are ambivalent about this. Asked how they’d feel if their baby preferred the helper, 59% said they would spend more time with the child to strengthen the bond, against 32% who said they’d feel sad and worried (2,108 votes).

The 59% have it right. A child forming a secure attachment to a consistent, kind caregiver is a good outcome, not a threat. Children form multiple attachments, and that’s protective, not diluting. Treating that bond as a problem costs the child something real.

Two related points. Your children learn how to treat people who work for them by watching you, and they learn it precisely. And a helper who feels respected takes better care of your family than one who feels surveilled. That’s the practical argument as well as the decent one.

If it isn’t working

Raise it directly and specifically, in private, with examples
Involve the agency, which is part of what you paid for
Mediation is available through MOM and through the Centre for Domestic Employees
If she needs help herself, CDE and organisations such as HOME provide support and advice
Transfer or repatriation has rules. Follow them, and don’t use threats about them as leverage

Frequently asked questions

How do I improve communication with my helper?

Write the routine down and put it up, demonstrate a task once and then watch her do it, and check understanding by asking her to explain it back instead of asking whether she understands. Be specific: “clean the kitchen” means different things to different people. Most problems blamed on ability are unstated expectations.

What training courses are available for domestic helpers in Singapore?

The Settling-In Programme is mandatory for first-time workers. Beyond that, infant care and childcare courses, first aid and infant CPR, eldercare training, cooking classes and language classes are run by agencies and by organisations including FAST and the Centre for Domestic Employees. The employer pays, and if a course falls on her rest day that day should be voluntary and compensated.

What’s the most valuable course to arrange?

First aid and infant CPR, if she cares for your child. It’s the one most families skip and the one most likely to count.

Can my helper clean the outside of windows?

Not above the ground floor, unless grilles are installed and locked and you or an adult representative supervises. People have died doing this and the rule isn’t negotiable.

What are my legal obligations as an employer?

A weekly rest day, including at least one each month that can’t be compensated away; not retaining her passport or work permit; paying salary on time with records; adequate food; safe, private accommodation; medical care and the required insurance; and real rest. Check the Ministry of Manpower website for current requirements instead of an agency’s older advice.

My baby prefers the helper. Is that a problem?

No. Children form multiple attachments and that’s protective, not diluting, and a secure bond with a consistent, kind caregiver is a good outcome. Most of our readers agree: 59% said they’d respond by spending more time with the child, not by treating the bond as a threat.

What to remember

Write the routine down, demonstrate once, and have her explain it back. That fixes most of what gets blamed on ability.

Then pay for infant CPR and first aid if she looks after your child: the single most useful course, and the one almost nobody arranges.

Know the rules you’re bound by, especially the window one. And remember your children are learning how to treat people from watching you do it.