Some couples like to get adventurous in the bedroom and there are a million experimental acts to try. While some like ropes and leather, there are others who prefer toys. Then there are those who like to record the whole session to make their own little adult home film for later viewing. But if the husband or wife shared their sex tape with someone else, does this cross the line?
Honestly, there's no judgement here and to each his own. As long as the couple is happy and in a healthy relationship, it's only wiser to explore each other's kinks which will help build that partnership in the long run.
At least that's what Reddit user 'ThrowRAmadder' thought was happening when his wife suddenly started capturing and recording their intimate moments.
However, what he found out later wasn't the different types of intimacy in marriage that he knew about.
Wife Shared Sex Tape With Someone Else
During a routine backup for his photo library, ThrowRAmadder found the intimate videos his wife had shot when they were having sex.
Having been together for 11 years that includes four years of marriage and two children, it was a bit out of the ordinary for his spouse to be recording videos.
“I didn't pay much attention to this as she says she likes looking at these pictures and videos when I travel for work, which is in IT,” the Reddit user wrote.
However, what did come as a shocker was that his wife shared this sex tape collection with someone else.
Further digging revealed that the ThrowRAmadder's wife shared their sex tapes with her sister. The user then read some of the text on his wife's phone with her sister that further clarified what's going on.
"My wife and her sister are very close, and looking at the messages it seems her sister's sex life had become very stale, and she reached out to my wife for support and how to 'spice' up their sex life. After back and forth communication over a few days, her sister wanted to see how my wife does these sexual actions. My wife initially declined, but after a lot of begging, she relented. Her sister now uses the pictures and videos as masturbation material," ThrowRAmadder explained.
Clearly not sure how to process this, the Reddit user wrote, "I have never ever been in a situation like this, and have no idea what to do. Should I even bring this up? Or sweep it under the rug. Me and my wife do communicate pretty good, but I don't even know how to start this conversation. My wife hasn't sent anything to her sister for about 2 weeks, and she messaged her sister to say she will not send more."
What Did Other Users Say About How His Wife Shared Their Sex Tape?
It seems he's not the only surprised about how his wife shared their sex tape with her sister. Other Reddit users were as shocked as ThrowRAmadder as the sequence of events unfolded.
One user described the whole post as, "The f*ck?," which a lot of people resonated it. Responding to the top comment, one user wrote, "Yep, this started weird then got worse and worse."
One user was put off by the whole incest aspect of the encounter, not to forget the lack of consent. They wrote, "That would make me extremely uncomfortable. First off taking and sharing pics/videos without consent. Then the whole incest aspect of this. And it’s family. Cringe in every possible way."
Another Redditor asked the author of the post how he felt about the whole incident. She asked. "I noticed you don't mention what you think and feel about this. So, what are your thoughts? Feelings? I would certainly bring it up because I would feel violated and disrespected."
Responding to the same, the Reddit user wrote, "I want things to be as they originally were. I don't want this to escalate and become even more complicated. A more simple life = much less stress in life."
The whole incident raises concerns about the kind of intimacy one shares with their partner, especially in a marriage. It's important to understand the different types of intimacy in marriage and what they mean for a couple.
5 Types Of Intimacy In Marriage
In this case, the husband and wife were clearly great at communication, but the husband still felt betrayed by his wife's misuse of their trust. While she wasn't cheating on him, it's a betrayal and can this lead to disconnection.
Couples need to understand that feeling connected or "vibing" with each other, leads to intimacy. For most couples, this needs to be rejuvenated every couple of years to keep the intimacy alive, especially as more and more distractions start cropping around you. Work stress, kids, family, and more, all contribute to the lack of intimacy in a relationship.
But intimacy is a multifaceted thing and not restricted to just sex. In fact, there are five types of intimacy and it requires all of them to function properly for a marriage to run.
1. Spiritual Intimacy
Some families bond over the same customs, traditions and religion, which contributes to the spiritual intimacy in a couple. While religion isn't necessary for spiritual intimacy, it can work as a catalyst in the process.
Through praying and worshipping as a couple, you are working towards developing a bond facilitated by the supreme power above.
2. Recreational Intimacy
One of the main reasons why individuals look for people with common interests is to jointly do those things. With couples, this is recreational intimacy. This can range vastly from going for sporting activities together or enjoying travelling together, to doing something far more simple like playing boardgame in the confines of your home.
When couples share common recreational interests, they connect over different activities, engage better and have more introspective conversations. It also helps either individual to understand what the other person is going through.
3. Intellectual Intimacy
This is when people connect on common beliefs and viewpoints without worrying about potential conflicts. It's great when both are feminists or have the same viewpoint on capitalism.
This not only allows for more thought-provoking conversations but also for the partners challenging each other and creating a formidable bond in a relationship.
4. Physical Intimacy
Sexual compatibility is necessary between a couple, but they also need to have physical intimacy. This not only includes sexual activity but also extends to holding hands, hugging your significant other, a kiss on the cheek, and more.
It also brings a sense of security between the couple that further helps to strengthen the bond in any relationship.
5. Emotional Intimacy
The fifth type of intimacy is emotional and requires the couple to share their own experiences with one another. This becomes problematic to an extent with men finding it difficult to open up emotionally. Men also have a limited vocabulary when it comes to handling emotional concerns and is less comfortable with showing their vulnerable side.
Connecting on an emotional quotient helps understand those things that are sometimes left unsaid between a couple. It helps create a safe space that is cultivated by refraining from judgment or contempt when the other person is sharing.
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