Obviously, your husband was a key contributor in the baby-making process. However, now that you’re moving along with your pregnancy, you may have found that you’re carrying most of the load!
It’s not his fault by any means, and there’s no doubt he’s made a conscious effort to stay as involved as he can. Soon-to-be-dads may struggle to be as big a part of the pregnancy as they’d like, but the effort is certainly present. Joyce Gottesfeld, M.D., an ob-gyn at Kaiser Permanente Colorado in Denver claims that she’s constantly barraged with questions from dads on how they can get more connected with the pregnancy.”I love when dads ask how they can get more involved,” she says. “It shows that they are invested in their family.”
These daddies are definitely invested in their families and are truly willing to go to great lengths to help shoulder the burden of your pregnancy. However, there may be ways in which mummies can help them feel more involved.
Here’s a helpful list of suggestions, testimonies, and anecdotes that can help keep your husband more involved during pregnancy:
1. Create a ritual
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Laura Owens, a mother from Alcoa, Tennessee claims that when she learned she was expecting, she and her husband, Casey, downloaded a pregnancy app. Together they tracked the pregnancy with the app and created a ritual in the process. “I feel like it makes my baby bump a little more real to Casey, and we have fun talking about how our baby is changing and growing,” says Owens.
If you’re not into apps or the idea of tracking the growth, you can find other rituals or habits that you two can accomplish together. You could create a habit of going to each and every doctor’s appointment together or even include him in all of your birthing classes. Make the learning experience of pregnancy something he can feel as well, and he’ll become more involved in the process.
2. Include him in the celebrations
While it may be slightly unusual for your husband to attend”mummy events” like a baby shower, there’s certainly no rule saying he can’t come! In fact, you could even go as far as to throw a couples baby shower. Wendy and Erik Vlieks (St. Louis, Missouri) were expecting twins and their family and friends threw them a couples baby shower. “Some of Erik’s friends from high school and work came, and so there was a lot of ribbing Erik about raising two daughters,” said Wendy. “Erik and I opened presents together and participated in the shower games. All of the guys had a really fun time.”
Another interesting way to keep your hubby involved without compromising your baby shower is to encourage him to throw his own baby shower, otherwise known as a “dad-chelor party”! Then he and his friends can have their own party, but your husband will feel the same feeling mums feel when they have their baby shower.
3. Learning and Classes
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Stephanie Waters Glickman (Brooklyn, NY) and her husband, Phil, say they attended several prenatal classes together. “It put us both at ease to approach the process as a team,”says Glickman. The team approach will have your husband feeling more involved than he already is.
Expecting dads are also encouraged to attend as many prenatal doctor appointments as possible. “Seeing your baby on the ultrasound and hearing the heartbeat is a powerful bonding experience,” David L. Hill, M.D., father/paediatrician/author of Dad to Dad: Parenting Like a Pro claims.
The goal is to make sure that dads are part of the process and they can contribute in as many ways as possible. Obviously, they can’t do it all, but neither should you, and you should ensure that they feel as though they’re helping in each step of pregnancy!
4. Assign “daddy tasks”
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Wendy Vleiks claims that when she was completing her baby registry, she felt overwhelmed. Instead of trying to handle everything all by herself, she entrusted her husband, Erik, to handle “daddy tasks”. His first assignment: the baby registry. “He spent hours researching the best crib, car seat—you name it!” Wendy says. “It was a great way for him to contribute to our baby’s future safety and well-being.”
Obviously, the possibilities of a daddy task are endless. The key is to make sure that the chore has something to do with the baby’s arrival. he should feel like he contributed something meaningful for his child, and I’m sure that mums everywhere have a plethora of prenatal tasks they’d like to distribute evenly with their husbands.
5. Bonding time with the baby
One easy way your husband can feel more involved with the pregnancy is to let him have bonding time with the baby! “It’s never too early to start reading, singing, and talking to your child,” says Dr. David L. Hill. “A man’s deep tones will penetrate into the womb, and there are reasons to believe that infants remember the rhythms of both parents’ voices after they’re born.”
6. Couples night
It might sound strange to suggest that a way for your husband to feel involved with the pregnancy is to overlook the pregnancy for a night, but, hey? It works!
Try entrusting your husband with planning with a much-need date night, maybe even a babymoon! “It may be a while before you get to the movies or a romantic dinner together, so check out that cool new restaurant or see a film,” says Dr. Hill.
Use this time to bond and even plan ahead for the birth and onwards if the mood is right. Either way, let your husband feel as though he’s essential to everything that’s going on in your life, even if it’s just a simple date night.
Original article on Parents.com
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