Most advice for parents of twins is written for parents of one child and then doubled. It doesn’t work that way, and you’ll want to know the differences early.
Keeping them on the same schedule is what makes the first year survivable.
When one wakes to feed, wake the other. It feels harsh and it’s the difference between two feeds a night and four, and between having an hour to yourself and having none.
Parents who let twins run on separate schedules describe the first year very differently from parents who don’t.
The pregnancy is different
- More monitoring, more scans, and a higher chance of gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia and anaemia.
- Earlier delivery is normal. Twins average around 36 weeks, and many arrive earlier. Have the bag packed well before you’d for a single baby.
- Higher caesarean rate, though vaginal delivery is possible depending on positions.
- Airlines restrict earlier, often from 32 weeks instead of 36.
- Identical twins sharing a placenta need closer monitoring for specific complications; ask which type yours are and what that means for your care.
Feeding
- Breastfeeding twins is possible, and supply does respond to demand from two. It’s also harder, and getting help early counts for more than usual. Ask for a lactation consultant in hospital.
- Tandem feeding, both at once, is what makes it sustainable. A twin nursing pillow is one of the few necessary purchases.
- Combination feeding is extremely common with twins and is a legitimate choice, not a compromise.
- Keep a written log in the early weeks. Who fed, when, which side, nappies. You won’t remember, and with two it matters.
- If they were premature, expressed milk is more important than usual. It reduces the risk of a serious bowel condition in preterm babies. Ask for a pump early even if they can’t feed yet.
Sleep
- Same room from the start. They habituate to each other’s noise faster than parents expect, and separating them usually creates two problems instead of one.
- Expect a noisy fortnight when they first share, then improvement.
- White noise helps both of them.
- Wake one when the other wakes, as above, until they’re sleeping through.
- Separate temporarily if one is ill, then bring them back.
- Each in their own cot, on their backs, flat firm surfaces, nothing else in with them.
Treating them as individuals
The thing twin adults most often say they wish their parents had done differently.
- Use their names. Not “the twins”, not “the boys”. It sounds small and it accumulates over eighteen years.
- Some separate time each, however brief: one goes to the shop with you while the other stays. Ten minutes of undivided attention is worth a great deal.
- Let them dress differently once they’ve opinions.
- Separate friends and separate activities, if they want them.
- Don’t compare them out loud. Ever, and especially not about who talks, walks, reads or scores better. They’re each other’s most available comparison already; they don’t need yours.
- Separate birthday attention: one cake is fine, but two people are having a birthday.
On school: together or apart depends entirely on the children. Some do better separated, some are distressed by it and one may want it while the other doesn’t. There’s no universal answer, so ask them instead of applying a policy.
Practical
- Two car seats, non-negotiable, and check they both fit across your back seat before buying.
- Double pram or two carriers: measure your lift and your front door first, since some double prams don’t fit through either.
- Accept every offer of help, and ask for specific things. Twins are the situation where people want to help and don’t know what to offer.
- Find other twin parents. Practical knowledge here moves between parents faster than through any other channel, and nobody else quite understands the logistics.
The parents
Rates of postnatal depression and anxiety are higher among parents of multiples, and the reasons are structural, not personal: more prematurity, more NICU time, more sleep deprivation, less help than the workload requires.
Watch for it in both of you, and treat asking for help as a normal step, not a last resort. Low mood persisting beyond two weeks, hopelessness or constant anxiety needs a doctor.
Frequently asked questions
Should I keep twins on the same schedule?
Yes. It’s the one decision that helps most in the first year. When one wakes to feed, wake the other. It feels harsh and it halves the number of night wakings, which is the difference between having some time and having none.
Can you breastfeed twins?
Yes, and supply does respond to demand from two, though it’s harder than feeding one. Tandem feeding both at once is what makes it sustainable, and a twin nursing pillow is one of the necessary purchases. Combination feeding is very common with twins and is a legitimate choice.
Should twins share a room?
Usually yes, from the start. They habituate to each other’s noise faster than parents expect, and separating them tends to create two problems instead of solving one. Expect a noisy first fortnight. Each should have their own cot.
When are twins usually born?
Around 36 weeks on average, and often earlier, so pack the hospital bag well before you’d for a single baby. Caesarean rates are higher, though vaginal delivery is possible depending on positions.
Should twins be in the same class at school?
It depends entirely on the children: some do better apart, some are distressed by separation, and sometimes one wants it and the other doesn’t. There’s no universal answer, and asking them beats applying a policy.
How do I treat twins as individuals?
Use their names, not “the twins”, give each some separate time however brief, let them dress and choose activities differently, and never compare them out loud. They already have the most available comparison in the house without you adding to it.
What to remember
Same schedule. Wake one when the other wakes. That decision shapes the whole first year.
Same room from the start, own cots, white noise, and expect a noisy fortnight.
Then the thing twin adults consistently ask for: use their names, give each some time alone with you, and never compare them out loud.
Read next
- Toddler bedtime battles and what they look like
- Fibroids in pregnancy, and the signs of premature labour
- Naming twins
This article is general information and not a substitute for medical advice. Twin pregnancies need specialist antenatal care, so follow your obstetrician’s guidance.