Marriage isn't easy. In fact, it takes a lot of hard work and dedication. Through all of that work and maintenance, some couples may lose track of the importance of keeping the magic alive! Sometimes, a husband or wife just needs to rekindle that spark to regain the magic and spiciness in a marriage. Luckily, one expert believes it's never too late to get that magic back.
Best-selling author, clinical psychologist, and relationship expert Dr. Carmen Harra recently shared 6 ways which she believes can help couples maintain the magic in their marriage. Check out her expert advice on how to rekindle the flame in your marriage and get back that magic!
1. Anticipate change
As Dr. Harra suggests, people are constantly changing. This isn't a bad thing by any means. It's just the way people are. "Understand how your loved one is transforming and adapt yourself to him or her," she says. "A relationship should not only shift, but shift positively over time as both partners work to resolve outstanding issues. Evolve in the same direction as your significant other."
Harra suggests that anticipating change can also apply to physical changes in a relationship. "In the case of physical change, make it known to your partner that you notice the new look: always compliment a different hairstyle, weight loss, fresh wardrobe, etc.," says Dr. Harra.
2. Keep out external resources
"Nothing kills the magic of a good relationship quite like a jealous friend, a spiteful mother-in-law, or the drinking buddy who cajoles your partner to stay out all night," says Harra. She suggests getting rid of such resources as soon as possible. Not in a manipulative way, though. Harra says to come to a mutual agreement about resources like this; cultivate an "us against the world" mentality. "Never speak badly of one another to outsiders, don't allow yourselves to be swayed by other people, and always to consult each other first," she says.
Find out more expert ways to rekindle the magic in your marriage! Click next for more!
3. Maintain emotional intimacy
"Emotional intimacy is the glue of any love relationship," says Harra. "It is knowing what your partner needs before they even get a chance to ask—feeling their emotions, needs, and desires as if they were your own."
Couples who aim to recapture the magic in their relationship need to find the value of emotional intimacy. As Harra claims, emotional intimacy is more powerful than physical intimacy because it delves deep into your loved one’s wishes, fears, and hopes. To stay on top of emotional intimacy, she suggests being more observant and keeping track of their daily behaviours and feelings. In short, you need to develop a sense of "knowing".
4. Go on new adventures
Monotony can be the biggest derailment and deterrent to a happy, successful marriage. That's why if you want to maintain the magic in a relationship, you have to seek new and adventurous activities together.
"Break out of routine as often as you can. Travel with your partner, even if it’s a road trip or a weekend getaway. Try new restaurants and take up new hobbies. Even if it’s something out of your comfort zone, find joy in the fact that you’re engaging in a different activity with your other half," claims Dr. Harra.
5. Ask
Seems a little vague, right? Well, all Dr. Harra is saying is that it's okay to ask questions and communicate with your spouse; however, there's a right way and wrong way to do so.
"The wrong way is bombarding your partner with all of your problems as soon as they walk through the door after a long day at work. The right way is waiting until they unwind, then gently bringing up one subject of genuine concern (one, not twenty). Ask about their day before you begin. Find out what’s important to them, what are their plans, how can you help, etc.," she says. Furthermore, you have to listen carefully and intently.
6. Be sexy
A lot of the magic from a relationship initially comes from the physical intimacy and connection a couple feels towards each other. As years pass, and couples age, they may begin to notice their sex drive lessening. According to Harra, this is natural and expected. "Adrenaline and dopamine levels drop with time and with them, the rush and excitement that accompany intercourse," she says.
And while this is normal, she suggests that you have to combat losing desirability between each other. "Beware not to lose your sexual appeal to your lover, or you run the risk of them searching for it elsewhere. Strive to maintain a desirable image for your loved one. This will boost your self-esteem, too. Take a bit of time to get ready when they’re on their way, eat well, and exercise regularly," claims Dr. Harra.
You can check out Dr. Harra's original article published by The Huffington Post
To visit Dr. Carmen Harra’s website, click here.
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