Let’s get one thing clear from the get go: nothing can prepare you for parenthood. Whether you have a girl or a boy, or both, you learn new things every day, and no 24-hour period is the same.
Growing up as an only child made the experience of having two sons, even more overwhelming for me. From sports obsession to penis comparisons, there are more than just a few things that took me by surprise.
#1 There will be pee everywhere
With boys, comes pee. Not only in the toilet (and all over the toilet seat), but on the floor, in the balcony, on the carpet, on the wall, on the bed… you get my drift. The only thing that changes is that as they get bigger, their range increases. So mums, stock up on Dettol wet wipes and succumb to the reality of things. They rarely outgrow this habit.
#2 Dressing up does matter
Who says only daughters are picky about their dressing? My sons are equally invested in their wardrobe – jeans and t-shirts must match, sneakers have to be cool for school, shirts all trendy and crisp. I battle with my boys over what they wear a lot. They want to look cool yet be comfortable. So don’t just throw on a t-shirt and pair of trousers and call it a day – they take dressing up more seriously than we think!
#3 You may take a trip to the emergency room
This is a given. We have boys, and we have tables… now these two things often add up to stitches. Don’t be quick to blame yourself- all boy mums are excused for this. Even with all the kid-proofing I did, my sons somehow found (and still find) a way to knock themselves down. Don’t worry mummies, one thing you should know while you’re taking a drive to the Accident & Emergency room- other parents sympathise with us!
#4 His fascination with his penis starts sooner than you think
Oh boy, did this come as a surprise to me. Is it the caveman instinct? I am not sure, but boys play with their penises… practically from birth. Other mums have told me not to worry about him touching it all the time- it’s supposedly normal. As long as he doesn’t whip it out in public, I guess it’s okay? But ironically, the only time he doesn’t have his hand on his little one, is when he’s in the toilet – and that’s when he needs to hold it for an accurate aim… but yet…. I keep hoping.
#5 Batman lives forever!
Even at a young age, boys realise the importance of super powers. Boys sort out their identities in relation to the mythical characters they hear about. My son is super-obsessed with Batman. At EVERY Halloween party, that’s the only costume you’d find him in. When the recent Batman Vs Superman movie was released, he made me book the tickets for the IMAX 3D version because “I need to see him pop out of the screen, mum!” It’s taken over his life so much so as he nods his head just a little, to acknowledge his public before he takes on an important task- like going to school.