From the girlfriends who said they would help with your new bundle, to the know-it-all aunt who chides you on the way you’re holding your baby… be prepared to be majorly ticked off by your nearest and dearest.
Here’s a heads up on the 8 people you will undoubtedly hate after your baby is here.
#1 Your husband, who sleeps soundly
And how dare he? Some daddies are able to sleep through the night even while their newborn is wailing as close as 10 cm from their faces (how? how? how?). There may be nothing he can do to help anyway (especially if all baby wants is your breast), but you still despise him a bit.
#2 Your nagging mother-in-law, who thinks everything you do is wrong
We love you, mum but…. go away! She will tell you, “You know, when John was a baby, I never depended on a pacifier.” Hmph! It wouldn’t be so bad if she only tossed off a comment occasionally, but she is quick to point out your faults more often than you can take. Thanks, but no thanks.
#3 Your helper who… doesn’t help!
She’s parading around your home, on her mobile phone, taking selfies with your little one, but doing nothing to REALLY help you. She will even go a step further and tell you about the other new mothers in the same block who’ve already lost their post-baby weight while you are sitting and having home-made cookies from your mum. Go ahead, hate her – it’s totally acceptable!
#4 The random aunties with too much knowledge
And they should keep those words of “wisdom” to themselves. From the clothes that your baby is wearing (‘Are you certain baby Jill is warm enough in that teeny cotton onesie?’) to basically everything else (‘You shouldn’t rock him to sleep’). You may need this aunty, but that doesn’t mean you have to like her. Hate may be a strong word, but at times like this, it just doesn’t say it all. We get it.
#5 The cousins who swore they’ll help
Yes, they will ‘help’. By coming over and oohing and aahing over the baby while you run around like a crazy cow, breastfeeding, cleaning up your home, and cooking dinner for them.
#6 The RedMart delivery guy who keeps buzzing your doorbell
Did you just put your newborn to sleep (after hours of trying?), DING DONG! Did you just sit down to start breastfeeding? DING DONG! Did you just get some quiet alone time in the toilet? DING DONG! “Gosh, just leave the groceries at the doorstep and go already, mister!”
#7 The confinement nanny who sits around watching Netflix
You were told your confinement nanny would be god-sent: a pro on hand to whip up nutritious and strengthening meals, who’ll look after your baby so that you can get that much-needed rest. Now when she turns out to be one who lazes around, with kachang in hand, your TV remote in the other, surfing the channels on Netflix, you have a problem! Not only is she NOT helping you, but she’s also getting in the way, and taking up space in your recently cluttered (thank you baby) house. We get why she’s totally hate-able…. so go on, hate her.
#8 The person who gave birth to this baby
Yes, you. You will hate yourself for wondering why you gave birth to this tiny maniac who screams and cries almost all the time, wants things you have no idea about, sleeps when you’re wide awake and is awake when you finally want to sleep.
But you’ll also be that one person who’d do anything and everything to ensure your baby is always happy. So at the end of the day, despite all the craziness, it’s totally worth it, isn’t it?
