We have come a long way from the all-time breastfeeding low in the 1970s. Even then, our society still struggles to embrace breastfeeding. As such, many mums still have reservations about breastfeeding, let alone tandem feeding in Singapore.
So here we are, on a quest to promote awareness and give mums the confidence to try tandem feeding. Let’s get the basic facts in order to begin.
Table of Contents
What is Tandem Feeding
Tandem nursing or tandem feeding is the process of feeding a newborn and one or more older children. It might refer to feeding both children simultaneously with one child to a breast or the baby and the older child taking turns to breastfeed.
Benefits of Tandem Feeding
Done right, tandem feeding your children can lead to several advantages, such as:
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Bonding between siblings. Tandem feeding is a great way to reduce jealousy and facilitate the process of bonding between siblings. Breastfeeding an infant is time-consuming. Consequently, older children may feel neglected. Tandem feeding is the perfect solution. An added benefit is that siblings learn to share from a tender age.
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Free time. If you choose to nurse them simultaneously, you get to free up some time for yourself. Think efficiency. It’s almost like hitting two birds with a stone. It also saves you the trouble of keeping your toddler occupied while you breastfeed your newborn.
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Milk supply regulation. It is easier to regulate the supply of breast milk. In the first few days following delivery, many mums either struggle with their milk coming in, or with breast engorgement. With the efficiency of the older child’s sucking, these problems are less likely to occur.
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Benefits of breast milk. The older child can continue to receive the myriad of benefits that breast milk offers.
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Weight loss. We all know what they say about breastfeeding a child and weight loss. So you can imagine if it’s not one, but two that you are breastfeeding.
What are the disadvantages of tandem feeding?
Tandem breastfeeding, which involves nursing both a newborn and a toddler, can be challenging. One of the primary disadvantages is the potential for nipple soreness and exhaustion. Meeting the different needs of both children can be emotionally and physically taxing for the breastfeeding parent.
Additionally, tandem feeding may impact the toddler’s attachment to breastfeeding, potentially leading to weaning challenges later on.
Breastfeeding may not always be enjoyable for the mother.
Some of the challenges that tandem feeding mums face are the following:
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Nursing all day. If the toddler and newborn are taking turns to breastfeed, mums may feel that they are spending the most part of their day breastfeeding. This may leave them hardly any time for themselves or other things.
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Criticism. Many of us are familiar with the older generation’s unwavering belief that we aren’t producing enough milk. This is an added reason for tandem feeding in Singapore to be less welcomed. More conservative family members may be uncomfortable with the idea. So mums, before embarking on your tandem feeding journey, be prepared to deal with criticism and lack of support.
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Overstimulation. Some women may feel that their hormones are overstimulated when they feed both children at the same time. In such cases, taking turns to feed the children might work better.
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Insights from a Tandem-Feeding Mum
To give you a more personal insight into tandem feeding, we spoke to Angie, a former junior college teacher who is now a stay-at-home and successful Singaporean mum blogger who tandem nursed for nine months before weaning her daughter at four years old.
Angie was initially apprehensive about tandem feeding as she was not entirely sure how to go about it, and wondered if her supply would be sufficient. She got over this and found confidence by reading a book that compiled other mums’ tandem feeding experiences and helped her to understand the various positions.
One of the challenges she faced while tandem feeding was finding the right position for suckling. She was so eager to tandem nurse that she did not latch her children correctly. This led to cracked nipples. With time and practice, she got the hang of it and things got better.
“It’s an indescribable feeling, being able to provide milk for both my darlings,” she mentioned.
Angie’s message to all mums who are considering tandem feeding is to not be afraid to ask questions and clarify any doubts that you might have. And for those who are already doing it, to continue to enjoy the process. She assures you that while it won’t be easy, it will definitely be fulfilling!
Tandem Feeding FAQs
To provide our mums with more information on tandem feeding in Singapore, we have compiled a list of pressing questions from mums who are considering or are in the process of tandem feeding their children.
We approached Uma Thambidurai, midwife lactation consultant (IBLC), Director of Mother and Child, Singapore’s prenatal and postnatal education centre since 1994. Uma is a British-trained nurse/midwife who started her career 30 years ago and has been a lactation consultant in Singapore for the past nine years.
Is there enough milk?
For most women, the supply of milk is plentiful. Breastmilk operates on a demand-and-supply basis. If the older child nurses more, if anything, your supply is most likely to increase. Your toddler will also clear any engorgement that the baby can’t clear. The result? Bountiful supply!
Having said that, Dr Uma also cautions that the newborn always has priority over the older child to enable him to receive the nutritional and immunological benefits of breastmilk.
Who should breastfeed first – the newborn or the toddler?
It’s generally recommended to nurse the newborn first. This ensures that the youngest child’s nutritional needs are met and helps establish their breastfeeding relationship. Once the newborn has nursed, the toddler can be nursed next to fulfil their needs.
Again, the newborn needs priority for the colostrum and it is best to feed the newborn before the older child. For the initial few days, it might be a good idea to limit your older child’s nursing sessions to once in the morning and once at night.
Is the colostrum safe for the older child’s consumption?
Most definitely it is! Don’t be alarmed by the possible increase in runny stools though. This occurs due to the laxative effect of the colostrum and will resolve in a few days when the mature milk sets in.
The immunological benefits of colostrum and subsequent breastmilk are of great importance to your toddler especially if he is attending school, which exposes him to a host of infections.
How about working mums?
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If time permits, go ahead! But keep in mind that balancing work, home and nursing two children is a tall order. It can be incredibly exhausting. A possible way to go about it would be to pump while at work and limit tandem feeding sessions to only morning and night feeds.
When to wean the older child?
The World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends up to two years of breastfeeding. However, there is never an ideal age to wean a child. It is a decision solely driven by the mother and child. No one should pressure her to wean early. The mother’s health and ability to sustain her supply should also be taken into consideration.
Can you continue to breastfeed throughout pregnancy?
Yes, it is possible to continue breastfeeding throughout pregnancy. However, it’s essential to consult with a healthcare provider for guidance. Some mothers experience discomfort during pregnancy due to nipple sensitivity, and there’s a potential decrease in milk supply.
It’s a personal choice, and many women successfully breastfeed through pregnancy and continue after the new baby’s arrival.
When is tandem feeding not recommended?
While tandem feeding has many benefits, it may not be for everyone. If the nursing relationship feels strained or forced, adjustments, or stopping may be required. Here are some red flags to look out for:
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Withdrawal. Feelings of withdrawal from the nursing child signal a problem that needs to be addressed.
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Irritation. You should not be feeling irritated or find yourself snapping at your older child when agreeing to nurse.
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Nursing feels like a chore, something you have to do, not something you want to do.
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Feelings of wanting to abruptly stop nursing.
If you are experiencing one or more of these red flags, it is time to re-think your decision to tandem nurse. Remember that more than anything, a happy and sane mum is most important. If the best decision is weaning, then so be it.
And if you decide to persist, try reminding yourself why you decided to tandem nurse in the first place. When you realise that it is worth the effort, the negativity may translate into positive feelings. So hang in there mama!
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How to Keep Your Milk Supply Up When Tandem Feeding
We know you’re juggling a lot, and tandem feeding is a real superhero feat. But when you’re keeping two tiny tummies satisfied, maintaining a robust milk supply is the name of the game. Don’t worry, we’ve got your back with some easy and encouraging tips to ensure you’ve got enough liquid gold to go around:
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Stay well-hydrated and maintain a balanced diet: Drinking an adequate amount of water and consuming a balanced, nutritious diet can significantly impact your milk production. Be mindful of your caloric intake, as tandem feeding may require additional energy.
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Nurse frequently to signal your body to produce more milk: Frequent nursing sessions, day and night, send signals to your body to maintain milk supply for both children. Cluster feedings can be particularly effective in stimulating milk production.
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Practice breast compression to encourage milk flow: While nursing, gently compress your breast to maximise milk flow. This technique can help ensure both children receive enough milk during feedings.
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Ensure proper latch and positioning for both children: A correct latch and positioning are essential for efficient breastfeeding. Consult a lactation consultant if needed to ensure both children are latching effectively to stimulate milk production.
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Get enough rest and manage stress to support milk production: Fatigue and stress can negatively affect milk supply. Make sleep and relaxation a priority, and consider stress-reduction strategies like deep breathing exercises, meditation, or yoga to help support your milk production.
How to Tandem Feed Successfully
Tandem feeding might seem like a juggling act, but with a few tricks up your sleeve, it can be a breeze. Here are some tips to help you and your little ones enjoy the journey.
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Use pillows or a nursing cushion for support: Supporting both children with pillows or a nursing cushion can alleviate strain on your back and arms and help create a comfortable feeding environment.
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Find a comfortable and quiet space: Choose a serene, quiet spot for tandem feedings, minimising distractions and promoting a calm atmosphere for both you and your children.
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Be patient and flexible: Tandem feeding can be a juggling act, so remain patient and adapt to your children’s needs. It may take time to synchronise feedings, especially when they have different nursing patterns.
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Stay relaxed and make the experience enjoyable for both children: Keep a positive attitude during feedings. Sing, talk, or engage with your children to make the experience as enjoyable as possible for all involved.
Best Positions for Tandem Feeding
When you’ve got two little ones craving cuddles and milk, knowing the right positions can make all the difference. Here are some recommended breastfeeding positions you can try to make tandem feeding a breeze:
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Double cradle hold: Cradle both children in your arms, one on each side, with their heads resting on your forearms.
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Double football hold: Position both children under your arms, similar to holding a football on each side.
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Lying on your side with one child on each side: Lie on your side with one child nursing on each breast. This position can be particularly comfortable during nighttime feedings.
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Toddler in a standard hold and newborn in a cradle hold: For those with a toddler and a newborn, have the toddler in a traditional breastfeeding position and the newborn cradled on the other side.
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Experiment with different positions to find what works best for you and your children: Every tandem feeding situation is unique, so don’t hesitate to try various positions until you discover the most comfortable and efficient setup for your family.
On a concluding note Uma wants all mums who are tandem feeding to know that to tandem feed, a mother needs a positive attitude, creativity and a sense of humour.
Uma also stresses the importance of support. In order to achieve the goal of tandem feeding, a mother needs the help of her husband, parents, in-laws and if possible, the helper to handle the household chores and keep the older children occupied.
Tandem feeding may take you on an emotional rollercoaster. There will be times when the mother enjoys it and there will be times when she just does not feel like feeding the older child. This may lead to feelings of guilt. Feeding the children individually may help in such a situation, by allowing the mother to bond with each child independently.
With all of these going on, mums need to ensure that they have some time of their own to wind down and relax. They should seek the support and help of other family members to ensure this happens.
Lastly, when the time comes to wean, it will be a tough and emotional period. It is of great importance that they have sufficient support to get through it.
Remember, tandem feeding can be challenging but incredibly rewarding. It’s crucial to seek support and guidance from a lactation consultant or support group if needed to ensure a positive breastfeeding experience.
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Here at theAsianparent Singapore, it’s important for us to give information that is correct, significant, and timely. But this doesn’t serve as an alternative for medical advice or medical treatment. theAsianparent Singapore is not responsible for those that would choose to drink medicines based on information from our website. If you have any doubts, we recommend consulting your doctor for clearer information.