“Sleeping like a baby” is a phrase that probably evokes much bemusement, if not grief, in battle-weary parents. It probably didn’t take long for us to realise that babies simply aren’t the best sleepers.
The picture of an angelic bub sleeping soundly is, alas, a pipe dream for many as we find ourselves grappling with a fussy newborn who simply won’t be consoled.
For those of us who feel like we are missing the mark in parenting just because we can’t calm our fussy baby, take heart. Fussiness in babies is a perfectly normal response to being in this brave, new world. It often manifests in the form of general unsettledness or, at its worst, bouts of intense and inconsolable crying.
Fussiness also typically starts somewhere between 3-6 weeks and usually tapers off by 12 weeks, rearing its ugly head thereafter during teething, growth spurts and mental leaps.
It might not always be easy to pinpoint the exact cause of fussiness. The more obvious culprits are hunger, discomfort, and tiredness, but addressing these might not necessarily bring a stop to the crying. In such cases, fussiness could simply be a facet of typical newborn behaviour which hits some babies harder than others.
After all, facing a world so radically different from the comforting realm of the uterus is no mean feat for baby. It is no wonder that the first three months of a baby’s life are commonly termed the fourth trimester. This is a significant period of adjustment for babies as they adapt to life outside the womb, often with a lot of crying and unsettledness.
To help ease the transition, it is important for us to recreate the conditions of the womb that have given baby much comfort for nine months. This can be easily done using the C.A.L.M. approach.
Keep it COSY
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Being wrapped tightly in a blanket might not sound very appealing to you, but it is exactly what your baby needs to calm down. After all, your baby had been tightly encapsulated by the soft walls of the uterus for the past nine months, so recreating these close-fitted conditions will activate the calming reflex in baby.
HOW? Wrap your baby in a cloth swaddle, being sure to have their arms down and leaving enough space at the hips to safeguard against hip dysplasia. Sturdy cloths usually do a better job than stretchable muslin ones (although they are admittedly prettier), so invest in something heavy-duty and functional that can get the job done.
The baby might take to arms-up zip swaddles a lot better than having their arms restricted. However, these should not be introduced when your infant shows signs of being able to roll over, or if the swaddle tends to come loose all the time, as these would pose a safety hazard for the baby.
Prior to that, arms-down swaddling is preferred as it sufficiently mitigates against the Moro reflex, an involuntary flailing of the arms in response to environmental disturbances, or a sudden loss of support or shift in body weight.
Lastly, to up the ante on cosiness, carry the baby in a cradle position after he or she has been swaddled. This further restricts their movement and makes them feel snug and secure in your arms.
Keep AMBIENT WHITE NOISE on Loop
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When your baby starts fussing, remove them from excessive stimulation by transferring them to a dull and dim environment with ambient white noise. White noise recreates the sounds of whooshing fluid that baby was surrounded with in utero, and therefore activates the baby’s calming reflex.
We often have a mental picture of babies being lulled to sleep by lullabies, but that more accurately depicts how toddlers and young children are soothed. Babies need a constant and uninterrupted drone which recreates the sounds of the womb more effectively than the lilting notes of Rock-a-Bye Baby.
HOW? Play a baby white noise track on Spotify using a spare phone. Be sure to opt for Spotify Premium as you don’t want jarring ads to startle your baby! There is a lot of variety in the market, and you can even choose from a range of coloured noises (e.g. pink noise, brown noise etc.) to find the perfect fit for your baby.
If you don’t have a spare phone, invest in a white noise machine. The fussier baby is, the louder the white noise should be. Don’t be afraid of it being too loud as the sounds that baby lived with in utero were as loud as a vacuum cleaner. When baby has calmed down for a good amount of time, lower the white noise to the level of a running shower.
Keep Them LATCHING
Recall the time when you were gushing over the ultrasound scans of your bub and caught sight of them sucking on their wee thumb? Unbeknownst to you, your little one had already been practising the skill of self-soothing in utero.
Sucking activates a baby’s calming reflex, and it is for this reason that most babies are calmed by feeding. However, if your baby is fussy but not hungry, do not forcefully feed them. This will only result in gas pains and more unsettledness. Your baby wouldn’t have access to their thumb, given that they swaddled. So, what can we do to encourage sucking to soothe?
HOW? One of the most effective ways to calm a fussy baby is to comfort latch. If the baby has already been fed and is contented, rest assured that they will not take a full feed. Instead, your baby will do what is called flutter sucking—light sucking movements that result in minimal removal of milk, but that help your baby relax and enter a sleepy state.
If you do not breastfeed, you can use a pacifier instead. If baby does not take well to the pacifier initially, don’t give up. Try and try again. You might also want to consider adding a few drops of gripe water to the teat of the pacifier to serve the dual purpose of calming the baby’s gassy tummy and making the pacifier more appealing to them.
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Keep it MOVING
When your baby was in utero, they were in constant motion as you went about your daily activities. You might recall that baby would generally move more when you were stationary but would be still whenever you were on the move.
Keeping still when held in motion is thought to be an evolutionary instinct that babies have had since prehistoric times, as hunter-gatherer parents had to move quickly with their baby in their arms when faced with a dangerous beast. Fast forward to the present, this tactic of moving to silence a fussy baby still proves to be effective.
HOW? Carry the baby in a swaddle and sway your body from side to side. If this does not calm them down, you might have to engage in more movement such as walking or even rocking, just until the baby calms down. If it is tiring for you to walk and rock the baby at the same time, consider babywearing them instead.
Due to safety reasons, placing baby in a hammock, electronic rocker or electronic bouncer is not recommended unless baby is supervised by a trusted adult. If baby falls asleep, there is a high risk of suffocation as baby is not lying flat on their back.
Keeping it C.A.L.M.
Use either one of the strategies above or all of them at once for the best results. Above all, remember to keep calm and carry on. Trust that this fussy phase will pass, and that at the end of the seemingly interminable tunnel of incessant crying lies the eventuality of a baby in sweet slumber.
Pro-Mama tip: Track your baby’s sleep pattern easily using theAsianparent app’s new Sleep Tracker. With this tool, you can log your little one’s sleeping time, making it easier for you to anticipate your baby’s waking hours. Download it here for free!
This article was submitted by Sheena Kang of Rested Nest Infant & Child Sleep Consultancy.
Sheena Kang is a certified infant and child sleep consultant based in Singapore who is passionate about helping young families get better sleep.
DISCLAIMER: This article was prepared or submitted by a content contributor. The opinions expressed in this article are based on the author’s view. They do not directly reflect the views of theAsianparent and its affiliates.