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A brother’s sacrifice after parents die

7 Mar, 2013
A brother’s sacrifice after parents die

A local teen had given up his childhood and education just to look after his younger siblings when his parents died. The university drop-out has now gone back to school to get his degree. Read more about this inspiring young man.

A brothers sacrifice after parents die

The powerful love amongst siblings

There are tonnes of stories of youth gone bad and self-centered teens in this day and age, but this story is sure to reinstate your faith that there is still good in the world.

Grown up too fast
This 33-year-old man lost both his parents when he was 19 and was faced with the reality of becoming father, mother and brother to his two younger sisters who were 10 and 13 at the time.

He remembers having to deal with the daily realities of mortgages, bills and his sisters’ wellbeing; things that most teenagers don’t even worry about till they have a family of their own.

Adversity is no excuse for failure
Admirably those worries did not defeat his spirit as he didn’t allow himself to mope around feeling sorry for himself. A few years after his parents’ death, Mr Helmie earned a place to do a degree in Industrial Design at the National University of Singapore.

Burdened by financial woes
Helmie, unfortunately had to drop out of school in his third year, just a year shy of graduation as the pressures of being sole breadwinner, brother and parents to his sisters was too much for him to handle. Furthermore the financial resources left to them were beginning to dwindle and Helmie felt that providing for his two sisters was more important that completing his degree at the time.

Doing any and every job
Helmie told The New Paper on Sunday that he took up multiple jobs just to make ends meet. He says that, “Basically, I kept hunting for stuff which would bring in extra cash.” This included giving tuition, driving a school van, salesman as well as security guard.

Yet finding money was not his only job. He was first and foremost a brother and parent to his sisters and he took the role of guardian; going to their schools for ‘meet the parent sessions’, signing their report cards and even cooking them dinners.

Not your ordinary family
Helmie has said that the journey has been far from smooth and that labels such as “dropout” and “broken family” has been something that he has had to fight against. He adds though that “A family doesn’t necessarily need to be made up of a father, mother and children.”

His two sisters, who have since graduated with degrees of their own, credit their brother for their achievements. Nur Raihanah, 24, says “When I graduated from university, I didn’t see it as my achievement. I know who made me what I am today. If not for my brother, I wouldn’t be who I am.”

Never too old to learn
Helmie is now a father himself and has decided to go back to school to complete his own university degree.

He says that the main reason he is going back to school is because of his daughter.  “I thought of my daughter, and felt that I needed to get a degree so that I could motivate her to study hard. [After all], I didn’t want there to be a situation where she asks why she should, since I didn’t complete my studies, and I’d have to use a sob story for an excuse.”

Teachable moments
What this touching story shows is that, firstly we should be thankful for what we have and to cherish every moment with our loved ones.

More importantly it shows how you never really know how strong you are until you are being tested — so find the courage to be the best you can be in spite of your circumstances. So embrace those challenges today!

 

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Written by

Wafa Marican

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