You never forget the moment your world shifts. For Benita, 43, that moment came quietly but decisively — not with a dramatic announcement, but during what was supposed to be a routine check-up at KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital. Her daughter Amelie, then just shy of three years old, had been admitted for a febrile seizure.
But something else caught the doctor’s attention.
When asked for her name, Amelie didn’t respond. She wasn’t engaging the way most children her age typically would.
That small interaction sparked a journey that would forever change how Benita saw her daughter — and herself. After a referral to a Developmental and Behavioural Paediatrician, the confirmation came.
Amelie was on the autism spectrum.
As a parent, you might find yourself grappling with the same storm of emotions. Denial. Guilt. Sleepless nights filled with questions. Benita did.
“I spent nights crying, questioning what had gone wrong — from my pregnancy to my parenting,” she recalls. “The diagnosis hit hard. There was guilt, fear, and deep uncertainty.”
Living With Autism is Not Less — Just Different
It’s okay to grieve the expectations you had. It’s okay to feel lost at first. But Benita wants you to know that a diagnosis of autism isn’t a life sentence. It’s a different roadmap. And it can be a gift. For her, receiving Amelie’s diagnosis brought not despair, but clarity.
“It gave me permission to understand and accept her for who she truly is, rather than trying to fit her into neurotypical milestones,” she shares.
That acceptance shifted everything. She stopped trying to correct behaviours like stimming or delayed responses. She began to build a parenting style that was structured yet loving, one that gave Amelie the predictability and clarity she needed to thrive.
As a parent, you might feel like you’re drowning in unknowns. But as Benita’s story shows, the journey through autism can become one of empowerment, understanding, and even joy.
“It took time to accept that Amelie was not “less,” but simply wired differently. “
When Support Systems Fall Short
In Singapore, early intervention services do exist — but they’re often hard to access. After Amelie’s diagnosis, Benita was advised to enrol her in government-provided therapy. What she quickly discovered was how limited those sessions were.
“Sometimes it was only once a quarter. It wasn’t enough,” she says. “We needed something more intensive.”
So she did what many parents in her position do: she became a researcher, advocate, and warrior — all in one. Books, podcasts, online searches — she left no stone unturned.
That’s how she found Bridging the Gap (BtG) in 2022. The multidisciplinary, integrated approach they offered was a breath of fresh air. For families looking for more than a piecemeal solution, BtG became a lifeline.
Source: BtG
The Cost of Care
If you’re raising a child with autism, you know the financial strain is real. Therapy, assessments, specialist consultations — they all add up. For Benita’s family of six, surviving on one income, it wasn’t easy.
“Budgeting for Amelie’s therapy was tough,” she says. But there was more than just the financial cost. There was the emotional one, too.
“I had to educate myself from scratch on what autism really meant,” she shares. “There’s no manual. You’re constantly learning, adapting, and sometimes, failing.”
But she kept going — driven by love, by hope, and by the strength of her support system.
Her husband, she says, has been her greatest pillar. Together, they’ve learned to lean on each other. And with BtG offering consistent, evidence-based care, they began to feel less alone.
Small Wins, Big Milestones
Since starting at BtG, Amelie’s progress has been profound. She’s more focused, communicates more clearly, and is learning to navigate the world with increasing independence.
“She can now balance on one foot, write with proper grip, and even wait safely to cross the road,” Benita shares proudly.
These may seem like small milestones to others — but to a parent of a child with autism, they are everything. They are hard-won, deeply cherished, and proof that early, holistic intervention makes a difference.
Autism and the Long Road to Emotional Endurance
As the years have passed, Benita has grown into her role as a caregiver with wisdom, patience, and emotional resilience. But the toll is real.
“It’s been a journey of joy, worry, exhaustion, and growth,” she admits.
If you’re in the thick of it right now, know this: you’re not weak for feeling tired. You’re not failing for needing help. And you deserve a support system that holds you up when you can’t do it alone. For Benita, that includes her husband, her community, and centres like BtG that walk this road with families every step of the way.
True Inclusion Starts With Us
Autism is not just a condition to be managed — it’s a way of seeing the world. And that world, Benita argues, needs to do better.
“True inclusion means recognising that every child — regardless of ability — deserves to be seen, supported, and accepted,” she says.
Buzzwords won’t change hearts. Actions will. Inclusion means training educators, redesigning public spaces, and most importantly, teaching our own children that different is not deficient.
If Amelie is to thrive in Singapore, we all need to make space for her — and others like her — to belong.
This Autistic Pride Day, Let’s Walk With Families Like Benita’s
Source: Adobe Stock
As Autistic Pride Day approaches on June 18, take a moment to reflect not just on the triumphs of the Autistic community, but also on the journey families like Benita’s have walked.
Autism isn’t something to fear — it’s something to understand.
If you’re a parent navigating this journey, know that you are not alone. Support is out there. Community is out there. And your child — just like Amelie — is more than their diagnosis. They are capable of growing, thriving, and teaching you a whole new way of seeing the world.
Take a breath. Ask for help. Tell your story. And most importantly — keep going.
Need support? Reach out to ECDA-recognised centres like Bridging the Gap. Because your journey matters — and you don’t have to walk it alone.
