Baby Shower Rules of Thumb: Who Not to Invite and What to Do for the Mum-to-Be

Plan a perfect (and stress-free!) baby shower in Singapore with this handy timeline of everything that needs to be organised for the big day!

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Where can I host a baby shower in Singapore? When should you start planning a baby shower? How to plan a baby shower in Singapore? How much does a baby shower usually cost?

Your best friend and her husband have just announced that they’re expecting and you couldn’t be more thrilled. Whether your group of friends already has a gaggle of children running around or this will be the first, you know that you need to throw the perfect baby shower for your bestie. And you are probably thinking about what to do at a baby shower.

Planning a baby shower can be very stressful, especially if you leave everything until the last minute. The key to a successful and smooth baby shower is to start planning everything as early as possible.

You may think it’s crazy to start this process more than two months before your friend is due to give birth, but just imagine, you need to take into account everyone else’s busy schedules as well as any hiccups along the way!

How to Plan for the Baby Shower – 10 Weeks Before

Pick a date and location for the baby shower

There is some debate over the best time to have the baby shower, but we personally think that sometime towards the end of the second trimester or the beginning of the third is the best time.

There are several practical reasons for this: the mummy-to-be won’t be at the stage where they are exhausted all the time, the family still has time to buy things that they don’t receive during the baby shower and it’s early enough that you don’t have to worry about the baby joining you!

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For the location, many people choose to have the baby shower at someone’s home or in their building’s party room just because this will be the most comfortable option for the mummy-to-be (easy access to a washroom is key!).

Make the guestlist

Everyone has a busy schedule, so it is important to get to all the members of your squad as early as possible. Let them know the date you’re planning to hold the shower, even if you haven’t finished finalising all the details so they can block it off in their calendar.

Baby Shower

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7 Weeks Before the Baby Shower – Party Planning Time!

Choose a theme, send invitations, plan the menu

These three things go hand in hand and form the crux of party planning. Once you have chosen a theme, the rest of the party pretty much plans itself.

Instead of spending a tedious amount of time planning a menu around your theme, contact a catering company that can take care of your meal, snacks and decorations for you.  

In Singapore, there are a lot of amazing catering companies that you can talk to so that they can help you plan the perfect baby shower! All you have to do is give them information about your theme, and they take care of the rest: from setup and décor to all your food and even a three-tier diaper cake!

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Don’t forget to send out the invitations around this time as well! Be sure to include information on where the mum-to-be has registered for gifts, otherwise, expect to have all your guests asking you for that info in the weeks to come.

Two Weeks in Advance – Make Sure Everything Is Set

Hopefully, you won’t have any stragglers from your invitation list but since there are always a few, two weeks in advance is a good time to follow up with any guests who have yet to RSVP.

The only final tasks you have to are to do a final confirmation with the caterer and plan some awesome baby shower games for the actual party!

Once you’ve decided on the games that you and your friends will play, don’t forget to pick up any supplies you’ll need for the games and some small prizes as well!

The Big Day: What to Do at a Baby Shower

Relax and enjoy the party. The best part about hiring a caterer is that the only thing you have to do the day of the party is to enjoy yourself, get excited about all the cute gifts and try to win a few games (you did plan them, after all!). Everything else will be taken care of by your caterer!

And don’t forget to take tons of pictures. The mummy-to-be will be too busy having a blast to snap them herself but you gotta do it for the ‘gram!

Anyone can host for their friend. There are no specific do’s and don’ts or written etiquette that needs to be followed. However, there are general rules of thumb on what to do at a baby shower. 

Image Source: iStock

You can follow this program guide for your baby shower, but you can also mix up, add, or remove events depending on your preferences:

  • You can always start by greeting the guests as they arrive and welcoming them to the place.
  • Approach the mum-to-be and ask for her comments
  • You can choose either to make an introduction by yourself; let the guests introduce themselves and tell something about how they met the expectant mother, or you can ask the soon-to-be-mum to introduce each guest and tell a little story about how she met them. It doesn’t have to be so formal though. Just mingle, but put the spotlight on the guest of honour.
  • Serve snacks, appetizers, and beverages.
  • To get everyone into a party mood: you can have 2 to 3 games. That can also help guests to be comfortable with one another.
  • Serve the main dishes.
  • Serve the baby shower cake and dessert.
  • Ask everyone to witness the expectant mum as she opens the gifts. You can also opt to let the dad-to-be help his partner open gifts.
  • Give the guests time to chat with one another, eat more, giggle, and laugh together.
  • As the guests begin to leave, start giving the souvenirs.

Baby Shower Games That Everyone Will Enjoy

No party is complete without a little competition. So, bring in the games! Here’s a short list of baby shower games that are fun and enjoyable for everyone:

  1. Baby Bingo: Create bingo cards with common baby-related items or words. As the mum-to-be opens her gifts, guests mark off the items on their cards. The first one to get bingo wins a prize.

  2. Baby Name Game: Provide a list of baby names and have guests guess the meanings or origins of each name. This can lead to interesting conversations and laughter.

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  3. Diaper Derby: Have a diaper-changing race, where participants compete to see who can change a diaper on a doll or a balloon the fastest. Use a timer to keep it exciting.

  4. Baby Food Tasting: Blindfolded guests taste different baby food flavours and try to guess what they are. It’s a hilarious and often surprising game.

  5. Nursery Rhyme Quiz: Create a quiz with lines from popular nursery rhymes and ask guests to finish the rhyme. You can make it more challenging by leaving blanks in the lines.

  6. Baby Charades: A classic game where guests act out baby-related words or phrases without using words. Teams guess what’s being acted out.

  7. Guess the Baby Picture: Collect baby pictures from guests and display them anonymously. Have guests try to match each baby picture to the correct guest.

  8. Who Knows Mum Best: Create a list of questions about the mum-to-be, her likes, and her experiences. Guests write down their answers, and the one with the most correct responses wins.

  9. Baby Trivia: Test guests’ knowledge of baby facts, such as baby milestones, famous babies, and parenting trivia. The guest with the most correct answers wins a prize.

  10. Advice Cards: Provide guests with cards to write down their best parenting advice or well wishes for the mom-to-be. These can be kept as keepsakes.

Remember to tailor the games to the preferences of the mom-to-be and the guests to ensure everyone has a great time at the baby shower.

How to Plan for a Baby Shower – Some Points to Consider

Image Source: iStock

  • It’s okay to have the event even after the baby is born. This set-up can also be a chance to meet the baby and congratulate the mum and dad. The best way to decide when you will set the event is to ask the mum-to-be for her preferences.
  • It’s alright to have two baby showers. If the family of the parents-to-be decides to throw a baby shower and you also have a plan for it, you can opt to coordinate with them or do it separately. But remember that you are not obligated to throw a second baby shower if the family already gave her one. What is more important is to make your friend feel supported in her soon-to-be motherhood.
  • Traditionally, baby showers are given only for the first child because it is a celebration of a new life for a woman who is now entering motherhood. But since most of us believe that each child is unique and special, it is becoming more common to have a baby shower for each child, even for those who are not firstborn.
  • You can also prepare a baby shower if your best friend is adopting. A baby shower is a perfect way to make your best friend feel that they are loved and supported with their decision to adopt a child. Just keep in mind, that you have to be sensitive about how the program will flow. Make sure there are no references to pregnancy and such. Talk to the mum-to-be to know what should be talked about and what should not be.
  • Maybe you cannot decide whether to invite a guest who is having trouble having a kid, or had a miscarriage because you don’t want to add insult to injury. It is safer to invite her and let her decide whether to come or not than make her feel that you are having fun without her.
  • Not all women love surprises. If you are sure that the expectant mum would be happy to have a surprise baby shower, then it would be lots of fun to surprise her. However, if you know that she doesn’t like surprises or if you are not sure, then it is much better to inform her and discuss with her your baby shower plans.

The Guest List: Who to Invite to Your Baby Shower

Image Source: iStock

In creating the guest list, it is important to ask the mum-to-be about who should be and shouldn’t be invited. The traditional way of doing a baby shower is actually an all-women bonding ritual. The focus of the baby shower in that traditional way is to share and exchange stories and tales about labour and motherhood. 

However, it is common to include men in most baby showers nowadays. But you have to consider that when you invite a male to a baby shower, the atmosphere of the party might change. You must also consider the personality of the dad-to-be and ask the mum-to-be about their preferences on the matter.

There are times in an all-women baby shower when the dad-to-be still appears at the end of the party to thank everyone who attended and spent time celebrating the life of their soon-to-be-born child.

When planning for a baby shower, you may also coordinate with the family and other friends of the soon-to-be-parents. By including them in your planning, you can have people help you decide. Albeit the theme, colour, program flow, and who should be and should not be invited.

Updates from theAsianparent Philippines.

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Written by

prianka