A big part of parenting is the way you sleep train your baby. For new parents, letting your baby “cry it out” is unfathomable but many people have adopted this practice as an effective way to sleep train.
theAsianparent Community user Samantha B. was more curious, however, about those who don’t believe in the method.
screengrab: theAsianparent Community
“I believe babies cry for a reason and letting them cry it out makes them feel insecure.”
“I am one of those people,” wrote mum Jamie K., who has one daughter. “I believe babies cry for a reason and letting them cry it out makes them feel insecure. They’ll sleep, but only because they’re exhausted from all that crying.”
Linda X. agrees. “I also don’t believe in the cry it out sleep training method too,” she writes. “Same as Jamie, I think in the long run, babies will grow up to be insecure, unconfident and may affect the development.”
Linda also cited an article that saddened her about a “silent orphanage” where babies simply give up on crying because no one ever comes to soothe them. “If we allow our babies to also cry to sleep, yes, they may eventually learn to be quiet and sleep. But how different are they from these poor orphans?”
photo: Dreamstime
For Uma J., crying is the only communication babies have when they are in discomfort and, therefore, it can’t be ignored.
“I personally don’t believe in cry-it-out-sleep,” wrote the mum. “It just means that you haven’t responded to his discomfort call and let him continue to experience his pain and get exhausted and finally fall asleep.” Her approach is after feeding, she plays a lullaby in the background and stays with her son, tapping him lightly until he falls asleep.
More parents share their thoughts on sleep training on the next page
“I only believe a mother’s instinct and she will know the best suitable method for the baby.”
“I also don’t believe in the cry it out sleep training method,” writes L.K. Ng. “I only believe a mother’s instinct and she will know the best suitable method for the baby.”
Mum Pamela P. fears that if she tries this sleep training method, her child will trust her less because she is not there at times of distress.
“This is the method that parents give in to when the baby is little older…”
“This is the method that parents give in to when the baby is little older and they know that it is not some physical problem that is ailing them but that’s a kind of crying bout,” writes Chetna J. Adding that parents tend to get exhausted when trying to calm their baby down but nothing works. So, in these instances, this sleep training method could work.
“Personally, I have resorted to this method just once,” she recounts. “It makes you feel guilty later for letting the baby cry for long and you have to be little more stern that you already may be.”
photo: Dreamstime
The Baby Sleep Site clarifies what the Cry-it-Out method means exactly. They first start by listing down what the Cry It Out method isn’t:
- Cry it out is not a replacement for feeding when your baby can not comfortably sleep all night without food.
- It is not meant to be used when the baby is wet, hungry, very sick, in pain, et cetera.
- It does not mean leaving your baby in a room alone, closing the door and ignoring them.
- It should not be viewed as a replacement to parenting when baby needs it.
They also clarified exactly what the method is. Allowing the baby to “Cry-it-Out” is a sleep training method designed to break poor sleep associations (such as nursing them until they fall asleep). It is also focused on setting limits on what you will and won’t allow your baby to do (during nap time, all night, etc.).
“The act of crying does nothing to teach baby to sleep and it won’t change his personality,” clarifies the site. “Cry “it” out is simply letting baby find his own way to fall asleep and allowing him to cry out his frustration about not being able to get that pacifier replaced for the 10th time. None of us get better at something without practice.”
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