We’ve been married for 18 months and so far it has been a good 18-month honeymoon. We’re both working adults with a baby on the way. We have never been married before and making this marriage work is our top priority. If only everyone around us would let us.
We started seeing each other around 3 years ago. *Harry was my junior, attached to me to learn the ropes. His smooth charm soon broke the barrier I try to have with every junior I train. When we started going out, we kept it away from everyone. This is Asia. There is no room for such relationships here.
I had never gotten married before because my career always came first. Boyfriends were just Saturday night space fillers and to me, they always had an expiry date of 6 months. But Harry was different.
He never pushed. He was contented at the slow pace of the relationship. But there was something I had never felt with any other man I was with. I wanted desperately to have Harry’s child. But a baby out of wedlock just wasn’t something I wanted. Harry was rather on the fence about the whole thing. He was not sure if he was ready for a baby but he didn’t want to end the relationship either. After a considerable amount of thinking about it, Harry realised it was time to move forward and one night at dinner, he got down on one knee and asked for my hand. Up till that moment, I never knew I had it in me to feel emotional over such old traditions.
But of course with the agreement of a wedding comes the disagreement of families. Telling my parents about my readiness for marriage was greeted with cheering. But when I introduced my prospective groom, I swear I heard gasps from them. At that time, Harry was sporting a crew cut, so he looked like he was fresh out of NS, while I looked like, well his mother! My people were not happy but they refused to voice their displeasures. How could they? Or rather why would they? I was paying for the whole wedding, anyway.
Telling Harry’s folks proved even worse than we imagined. They went insane. His father threatened to cut him off and his mother wept over her future daughter-in-law being just 9 years younger than her! His sisters formed a common enemy and his brother flashed his young wife in everybody’s face. After 2 weeks of trying to pacify them, Harry realised all was futile and we decided to go ahead without their blessings.
We had registered and had a simple tea ceremony. My sister, possibly the only person who has stood by us, sent us on a honeymoon to Bali as a wedding present. When we came back, we looked forward to married life and sharing just about everything. We switched jobs, which we thought, would be better. We didn’t want to be the subject of office gossip.
Today Harry and I wait excitedly for our newest member who is on his way. I know Harry’s going to be an excellent father and I can see it with the way he spends time almost every evening fixing up the nursery.
Age is just a number, why let it stand in the way of blissful happiness? Sure Harry doesn’t talk to his family anymore or my parents don’t really understand Harry but the way I see it, we have a future that we are not going to destroy just because society has an age-old diagram of what should be and what shouldn’t.
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the author