A message to all mums feeling guilty: "You're doing better than you think"
Mums are their own worst critic. One mum is here to tell you to stop doubting yourself. In fact, "You are doing great!"
For whatever reason, mums tend to be their own worst critic.
For all of the good--no, great--things they're able to accomplish on a daily basis, mums still find a way to be harder on themselves than need be. And honestly, I'll never understand why.
Coming from a house where I saw my mum work everyday, cook, clean, take care of my sister and I, and manage a happy marriage...it's hard to believe that my mum still has time to criticize herself. The sad reality is that she does, and she;s not alone--in fact, if you're a mum and reading this article, then there's a chance you're in a similar situation.
Well, I strongly disagree with the notion that you're anything less than extraordinary woman, and there's no doubt that you're exemplary and remarkable mother.
That's why when I stumbled across Wendy Wisner's inspiring open letter to her fellow mothers, I knew I had to relay her beautiful message.
What's her message? In her own words, "You are doing great. You’re doing better than you think you are. Just the act of questioning whether you’re a good mum proves that you are."
You see, as a mother of two children, she can relate to you, mummies. She knows that it's only natural to critique your parenting skills, and to be harsh on the way you approach parenting. But, she's also here to tell you that you need to stop because, as she says, "You're a kick-a** mum!"
Check out her essay (below) and feel inspired to stop beating yourself up, mums! You deserve nothing less than respect and adoration, and that includes from yourself!
This summer, after being a stay-at-home mum for 10 years, I started working. It’s part-time, and at home, but I’m keeping regular hours and getting sh** done. It feels amazing and freeing. In fact, I’ve been shocked by how good it feels to concentrate on something other than my kids for a few hours each day, to accomplish stuff, and to make money.
And yet, I’m constantly feeling guilty. Am I really a good mum? Am I spending enough time with my kids? Will the whole summer pass without us doing enough fun stuff together? Do my kids think I’m abandoning them?
What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I spend so much time thinking I’m a sh***y mum?
Here’s a snippet of my annoying, insipid inner dialogue:
“Shut up! The kids are fine, you are fine, and you’re spending half the day with them anyway. Also? You felt totally guilty when you were a full-time SAHM. You thought you weren’t doing enough with your graduate degree. You felt weird about not contributing enough to your family’s income. But wait…maybe you were supposed to set aside your aspirations for a while and just do the mum thing. Maybe your kids really still do need you around that much. Maybe…”
Check out the rest of this inspiring message to mums everywhere! Click next to visit page two for more!
I could go on and on. My critique about myself as a mum literally goes on forever. And the thing is, I know I’m not alone.
Why are we mums so hard on ourselves all the time?
Most of us grew entire mini-humans inside our bodies, then pushed them out of our vaginas — or had them surgically removed from our bodies. And even if our bodies weren’t directly involved in the process of creating our kids, all mums work their a**es off for their kids on a daily basis.
We prepare a million meals a day for our kids. We wipe counters, butts, and tears. We lift our kids in and out of beds, cribs, car seats, and off the floor of the grocery store after an epic meltdown.
We mums are the ones who remember when each kid ate last, whether their food contained enough protein, how much they ate, and when they’ll get hungry again.
We know who pooped when — and if they are little enough, we have a mental image of their last bowel movement, what it might say about how their little tummies are doing, and when to expect the next poop (you know, so we can be prepared for a change of clothes if we’re expecting a baby poop explosion).
We know if our kids are feeling hurt. We’ll feel it before anyone else does — as soon as they walk in the door from school. Or, if they’re three rooms away, we’ll hear it the minute the first tears start well up in their throats.
Wisner's original post first appeared on Scary Mommy
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