As parents, part of our responsibility is making sure that our kids are healthy, not just physically but also mentally. Our child’s mental well-being is essential for their overall growth and happiness. That is why we invited Clinical Psychologist, Amber Lim, to answer questions from parents struggling with how they can support their children’s mental health. Visit this thread for more information.
Q: How can I improve my child’s mental health and emotional well-being?
Amber: Finding ways to connect with your child, reflecting on their emotions, and setting appropriate limits are good ways to help build your child’s coping skills to manage difficult emotions.
Q: How can parents support kids’ mental well-being?
Amber: Parents are in a great position to support the mental well-being of their children because of the bond they share with them. Finding ways to connect with your child can be a good start. You can do this in simple day-to-day activities by joining them with curiosity while giving your child space to encourage explorations. When big emotions arise, support your child by helping them reflect on their emotions and challenges. Set appropriate limits whenever required, and most importantly, care for and be kind to yourself in this process. There will be times when we make mistakes as parents, and that is okay, as long as we take responsibility for them, and try again.
Q: 1) What is the standard approach to address mental health issues?
2) What are the most common warning signs of mental health illness?
3) When is it appropriate to involve a mental health professional?
4) How do you balance mental health concerns while teaching discipline and resiliency to your child?
Amber: You can approach a mental health professional at any point in time if you’re concerned about your child’s mental health. As part of a usual process the professional will usually perform an assessment, and from there give you more insight into your concerns.
It’s not always easy to figure out if someone is struggling with their mental health. If you’re concerned about your child, some indicators of mental health challenges would be things like changes in behaviour. Some examples could be a normally active child becoming more withdrawn or avoiding activities. This would of course need to be taken into context (e.g. if there are any life changes, developmental changes etc…). If you do have concerns that your child’s behaviour is very different from normal, you could share your observations with your child, to connect with them and better understand their feelings.
With regards to the balancing of mental health and discipline, they don’t always have to be either one or the other. In fact, they can be done together! This of course depends on the definition of “discipline”. Punishments are not the only form of discipline, and punishments have been shown to not always be effective. Setting limits, and supporting your child through their disappointments (even with the limits you set) can be more effective to help your child learn better ways to get what they want, which can also help build resilience. Additionally, as a parent, you can also seek support from a professional to help you learn skills to more effectively connect and set limits with your child.
Q: How can I take care of a child with Autism?
Amber: It’s not easy managing the needs of a child with Autism, I hope you’re having space for yourself! Is your child enrolled in any intervention program? Getting support from an intervention program can be very helpful for the child and family to learn methods to cope with the behaviour, communication, and sensory needs of your child.
Q: How can I tell if my child’s mental health is normal? Is there any course to subscribe to for a child’s mental health to be normal?
Amber: Without referring to any specific age group, an observation of your child’s behaviour patterns could be a good way to help you see if your child is coping. Signs of a child’s normal mental health would usually be things like a child who’s meeting their developmental, emotional and learning milestones, has healthy social skills and can demonstrate an ability to cope well with problems.
If you’re located in Singapore, websites like the parent hub of the Health Promotion Board and Families for Life are good sources of information to help meet parenting needs.
Q: What can affect children and young people’s mental health?
Amber: Like us, there are many different factors that can affect the mental health of youth and children. Genetics, environment, relationships, physical health challenges, life transitions, developmental periods etc. are some of the factors that can affect the mental health of children and youth.
Q: What should I do if I suspect my child has a mental health condition?
Amber: You could seek help from a mental health professional if you’re concerned about your child’s mental health. If your child is in school, you can approach his/her Teachers for recommendations. If your child is not of school age, you can approach his/her doctor to express your concerns, and the doctor should be able to help refer your child to an appropriate professional.
Q: How to deal with the tantrums of older children? Appreciate it if you could share some tips to cope.
Amber: It can be hard to manage the tantrums of older children because they are no longer little, yet not old enough to think through their behaviours rationally. Before dealing with a tantrum, a good first step would be to stay calm. While easy to say, this can be tricky because the behaviours may sometimes not make much sense to an adult! A good level of “calm” would be one where you are able to speak slowly to connect with your child first.
You could start off with an observation of their behaviour, followed by a reflection of their emotion, and redirection of the behaviour or further clarification (e.g. I see you throwing your bag because you were angry that your friend pushed you. It is okay to be angry, but not okay to throw your bag. Can I find out more about what happened so we can figure out how to make things better?). You could use this as an opportunity to help your child problem-solve through challenges, which can be useful skills for future situations.
Q: My kid is getting angry about small things and screening. Is there any mental condition for him? How can I support him?
Amber: It can be stressful to have a child screaming over seemingly minor things. It’s hard to say if your child is struggling with any mental illness, and if you notice this behaviour being drastically different from his peers, I would recommend an assessment to better understand his behaviour. Meanwhile, it can be a good idea to observe situations when he’s screaming to help you notice patterns that can help you understand the triggers of his distress. A professional can also help you better understand your observations.
Q: How do I know that my child is in good mental health? any signs?
Amber: Observations of your child’s behaviour, or through feedback from their Teachers could be a good way to help you see if your child is coping. Signs of a child who is coping well would usually be things like a child who’s meeting their developmental, emotional, and learning milestones, having healthy social skills, and demonstrating an ability to cope with problems. An example of a child who’s coping well could be a 9-year-old child who feels safe to approach his/her parent for help when he/she is having difficulties with a subject in school.
Tips for Supporting Your Child’s Mental Health
- Observe Changes: Monitor your child’s behaviour for any significant changes, such as withdrawal or emotional outbursts.
- Seek Professional Help: Consult a psychologist or counsellor if you notice persistent difficulties.
- Create a Safe Space: Foster open communication to help your child express their emotions.
- Be Patient: Building resilience and emotional skills takes time.
About Amber Lim
Amber Lim is a Clinical Psychologist at Reconnect Psychology and Family Therapy. With a passion for helping families, Amber specializes in guiding parents and children through mental health challenges, offering compassionate and effective solutions.
Why Prioritizing Mental Health Matters
A child’s mental health affects their social, emotional, and academic growth. Identifying challenges early and providing the right support can make a lasting difference in their well-being.
For more expert tips and parenting advice, visit sg.theasianparent.com.